Every morning now begins with inventory. As Adam gets dressed, this conversation ensues:
Pie: Daddy has a p*enis!
Adam: Yes, that’s right.
Pie: Pie has a gagina!
Adam: Right again!
We don’t feel ogled. No not at all…
Overheard by another mother:
Doodles: Do you believe in Santa Claus?
Little Friend: What?
Friend’s Mom: She doesn’t know about Santa Claus.
Doodles: Okay, but does she believe in him?
Doodles: How are baby horses born?
Me: Just like people. They grow inside of their mommies’ bellies.
Doodles: But how do they get out?
Me: Through the horses’ private parts.
Doodles: How do people’s babies come out?
Me: Most babies come out through their mommies’ private parts. You and Pie, though, weren’t. I had an operation and the doctor cut my belly and took you out.
Doodles: So we were in your belly?
Me: Sort of. You were in my womb. It’s near my belly.
Doodles: Womb?
Me: Womb.
Doodles: Womb?
Me: Womb.
Doodles: Babies are in wombs?
Me: Yep!
Doodles: Are there chairs in wombs for the babies to sit on?
Pie’s first words upon rising: “Did the dinosaurs eat apples and honey on Rosh Hashanah?”
I’m in my office. Ella and Louis are on the CD player. But all of a sudden, I hear Billy Jonas. That’s odd. I thought SteveSongs was the next CD in there. Come out to find Ella and Louis still playing, albeit softly, and the iPod playing Billy Jonas. Doodles sits sheepishly on the coach.
Me: Who turned on the iPod?
Doodles: I don’t know.
Me: You don’t know?
Doodles: Uh uh. It just went on.
Me: You were just sitting here all by yourself and the iPod just magically started playing Billy Jonas
Doodles: Yeah.
Me: Hmmm, that doesn’t sound right.
Doodles: Well… I think Pie turned it on.
Me: Pie turned it on?
Doodles: Yeah. That’s right. Pie turned it on.
Me: And how did Pie turn it on?
Doodles: She just did.
Me: Are you fibbing?
Doodles giggles.
Me: Did you turn the iPod on? You know you’re not allowed to touch the iPod!
Doodles: It’s okay, because I didn’t touch it! [Doodles leans over to the side table that the iPod and speaker are on to demonstrate] See! I didn’t touch the iPod! I used the remote, so it’s okay! I never touched the iPod!
