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Category Archives: Uncategorized

When Jews Get Excited for Christmas

On the way to the airport for our annual New Year’s trip to my home: Me: We can start tracking Santa! Adam: Oh boy. Me: There he goes! He’s over Japan now. Hey there are two trackers. Boy: Duh. Me: I didn’t know. Both Google and Microsoft had to get in on the action. I […]


*Too Much Information. In other words, this post is not for the faint of heart. If this is you, move along.     (Still here? Okay.) Yesterday morning, the boy picked up a piece of mail from my gynecologist that was sitting on the counter. “What’s this?” he asked. “It says my lady parts are […]

Get Out of the House!

Remember those horror films and stories of old, in the days before Caller I.D. and cell phones? The babysitter/cheerleader/helpless pretty blonde girl of some sort is alone in the house and she’s receiving threatening phone calls? She calls the operator who researches the calls. The operator calls her back and yells, “Get out of the […]

The Post in Which I Need to Unbuckle My Belt

Why’d you let me eat so much? Seriously, this past weekend was one of total gluttony. My parents and my sister stayed with us a couple of nights, and for the Turkey Day itself, Adam’s brother came with his wife, his kids–Dutchie and Lalune–and his wife’s sister. His wife and her sister are ACTUAL twins […]

Proof of Paternity

The boy has a phone. One of the rules of the phone is that at any time I can look at the phone, read text messages, and use them to humiliate. Okay, maybe I never exactly spelled out the “humiliate” part, but I assume it was pretty much implied. I mean, the boy’s been living […]

Sappiness Is in the Air

I do snark well. I do grumpy. I’m pretty much an expert on whining. But posting things of pure joy is an alien notion to me. And yet… I am happy. No, not happy. Ecstatic. I’ve said it plenty of times on Facebook, and I’ll say it again here: I don’t do sappy. When Adam […]

Goofus, No Gallant

I read somewhere that if you’re going to eat candy, you should let the wrappers pile up, because when you see how many you’ve eaten, you’ll stop. Doesn’t work. I look at the pile and think, “Shit, I’ve gone this far. Might as well eat another five.” Did I mention it’s only 9:12 a.m.? Did […]

Columbus Is Not a Hero

In “honor” of Columbus Day, I am posting an essay the boy wrote last year, in his 5th grade class. Columbus Is Not a Hero An Essay By Doodles Christopher Columbus killed many innocent Native Americans and we celebrate him as a hero… Does something sound wrong about that sentence? Why do we celebrate somebody […]

Football Loyalty

Lest you think my son is the only one who amuses us, note this conversation I recently had with my nine-year-old daughter. I happened to be at her class’s library time at the elementary school. The kids are into polls these days. As in “Who/what do you like better? X or Y?” A boy came […]

The Post in Which I Go Just a Little Too Far

Before we begin, let me say this is a TMI post. If you don’t want to know that much about us, then just mosey along. Still here? Okay. I’m hesitant to write half of the conversations in this house, because while I find my children amusing 1) I’m not sure others will and 2) the […]