{"id":860,"date":"2004-04-28T21:39:00","date_gmt":"2004-04-28T21:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/2004\/04\/never-eat-more-than-you-can-lift-miss-piggy.html"},"modified":"2004-04-28T21:39:00","modified_gmt":"2004-04-28T21:39:00","slug":"never-eat-more-than-you-can-lift-miss-piggy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/2004\/04\/never-eat-more-than-you-can-lift-miss-piggy.html","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Never Eat More Than You Can Lift.&#8221; &#8211;Miss Piggy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The television remote? Oh, it&#8217;s so tasty! The bar on a dirty shopping cart? The perfect teething tool! The pole on the bus! Just&#8230;lean&#8230;a&#8230;little&#8230;closer&#8230;Mom! My tongue almost reaches! Keys, the umbrella handle, Dad&#8217;s watch, the string on Mom&#8217;s hoodie&#8211;all fabulous things to put in my mouth. But this past week, Mom has been trying to put in these, these&#8230; these unholy objects! She offered me this strange <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cfarm.com\/cfarm\/products\/product_detail.asp?category=9\">cold yellow-orange thing<\/a> in a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/ASIN\/B000056JCY\/jennyspage-20\">weird mesh bag<\/a>. She kept saying something like, &#8220;It&#8217;ll feel so good on your gums; just try it! You&#8217;ll like it. C&#8217;mon, just stick it in your mouth a little bit&#8221; although really all I heard was &#8220;ba ba ba ba ba.&#8221; Then she offered me these strange <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cheerios.com\/\">o-shaped pieces<\/a>. I put a couple of pieces in my mouth but I made that scrunchy face that clearly indicates that I will accept no more of that! And then she tried to put these <a href=\"http:\/\/www.wholefoods.com\/products\/365\/cheese_ched-shred.html\">slivers of orange gunk<\/a> in my mouth. Ewwwww! Luckily, a few minutes of red-faced screaming brought on <a href=\"http:\/\/www.earthsbest.com\/products\/product\/317.php\">my favorite food<\/a>. I think Mom learned her lesson. Now can we go back on the bus? I never did get to lick that pretty, shiny pole.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The television remote? Oh, it&#8217;s so tasty! The bar on a dirty shopping cart? The perfect teething tool! The pole on the bus! Just&#8230;lean&#8230;a&#8230;little&#8230;closer&#8230;Mom! My tongue almost reaches! Keys, the umbrella handle, Dad&#8217;s watch, the string on Mom&#8217;s hoodie&#8211;all fabulous things to put in my mouth. But this past week, Mom has been trying to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-860","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/860","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=860"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/860\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=860"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=860"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=860"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}