{"id":578,"date":"2006-03-22T13:54:00","date_gmt":"2006-03-22T13:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/2006\/03\/a-consumer-is-born.html"},"modified":"2006-03-22T13:54:00","modified_gmt":"2006-03-22T13:54:00","slug":"a-consumer-is-born","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/2006\/03\/a-consumer-is-born.html","title":{"rendered":"A Consumer Is Born"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I make these fabulous muffins. Really, truly yummy. I found the recipe on <a href=\"http:\/\/www.allrecipes.com\">All Recipes<\/a> and then modified it to make it my very own. It&#8217;s made with oatmeal, zucchini, carrots, applesauce, oat bran, yogurt (and, okay, a buttload of sugar). They taste fabulous. You wouldn&#8217;t know you were getting vitamins in it. Doodles, occasionally, will eat one of these muffins.<\/p>\n<p>The other day, I asked Doodles, &#8220;Doodles, would you like a muffin?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yes,&#8221; he answered.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Get in your chair,&#8221; I ordered as I went to the freezer to pull out one of these delicious muffins. I nuked it for 45 seconds and then it was good to go. I put it on a plate and placed it in front of Doodles.<\/p>\n<p>Doodles looked at the muffin. He looked at me. He looked back at the muffin. He looked back at me. Slowly, ever so slowly, his face began to crumple into that old familiar look of utter despair and anger. Tears began to pour from his eyes as he wailed, &#8220;<i>Starbucks<\/i> muffin! I wanted a muffin from <i>Starbucks<\/i>!&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>Good God, boy, just eat your damn muffin.<\/p>\n<p>He is not only his father&#8217;s child, he is his grandfather&#8217;s grandson. Oy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I make these fabulous muffins. Really, truly yummy. I found the recipe on All Recipes and then modified it to make it my very own. It&#8217;s made with oatmeal, zucchini, carrots, applesauce, oat bran, yogurt (and, okay, a buttload of sugar). They taste fabulous. You wouldn&#8217;t know you were getting vitamins in it. Doodles, occasionally, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-578","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/578","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=578"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/578\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=578"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=578"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=578"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}