{"id":552,"date":"2006-06-14T05:16:00","date_gmt":"2006-06-14T05:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/2006\/06\/you-cant-get-thar-from-here.html"},"modified":"2006-06-14T05:16:00","modified_gmt":"2006-06-14T05:16:00","slug":"you-cant-get-thar-from-here","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/2006\/06\/you-cant-get-thar-from-here.html","title":{"rendered":"You Can’t Get Thar from Here"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve been f*cking with Louise. I just can’t help myself. I don’t know if it’s the snooty British accent or just her absolute certainty but I dig messing with Louise’s mind.<\/p>\n

Which would be logical if Louise had<\/i> a mind. But really, if I say I’m f*cking with a computer chip, then I’m<\/i> the one who sounds like a moron.<\/p>\n

Adam bought a GPS. And we used it on our trip. Only for some reason, Adam’s GPS has the voice of a British woman named Louise. Sometimes Louise knows what she’s talking about, like when we were supposed to meet friends for dinner in New Hampshire, only a car accident prevented us from going the way our Google Map<\/a> told us. Then she navigated us quickly and clearly via another route. But on our way home, she seemed to think our house is on a different block and had we not known better, we would have been unpacking in some stranger’s living room.<\/p>\n

I like to purposely go in a different direction from what Louise orders. I know this speaks buckets about me and my personality, but I’m not going to even touch that. When Louise says, “Go right,” I can’t help but turn left. The entire drive home, I had Louise on for the sole purpose of not doing what she told me. I’d drive off her little map, and at first she would say, “In 200 yards, make a u-turn,” but when I consistently ignored her, she’d have to recalculate her little map to accommodate my<\/i> whims. Is that power or what?<\/p>\n

What would have been really cool, though, is if when you went the wrong way, Louise called you on it in that clipped English voice. “Did you not hear me? I said take that last exit? You nincompoop! You’ve missed your turn again! Hey, idiot, are you listening to me?”<\/p>\n

But she doesn’t. She just eagerly complies. What a nincompoop.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve been f*cking with Louise. I just can’t help myself. I don’t know if it’s the snooty British accent or just her absolute certainty but I dig messing with Louise’s mind. Which would be logical if Louise had a mind. But really, if I say I’m f*cking with a computer chip, then I’m the one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-552","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=552"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=552"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=552"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=552"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}