Me: You know, you guys are having some issues tonight. I’d like for you to keep your hands off of each other in the bath tonight.
More touching ensues.
Me: If one more person touches the other, there won’t be a show tonigt.
Doodles and Pie are playing with their bath letters. I look down at my magazine, and look up when Pie is shrieking. She has a K and an M on her back and she’s straining to get them off.
Me: How did those letters get on Pie’s back?
Doodles: She put them there.
Me: Look at her. She can’t reach them. There’s no way she put them on herself. How, I repeat, did Pie get those letters on her back?
Doodles: Oh, that’s right. There was a machine in the bathtub that put that on Pie’s back.<\/p>\n
Going to the playground, Pie let me put on her sandals sans socks. However, she had to be carrying with her at all times her socks, her sun hat, and a random green pair of shorts.<\/p>\n
Doodles: I’d like to see a v*agina.
Me: No. V*aginas are private parts. You don’t get to look at people’s v*aginas.
Doodles: But I want to look at one!
Me: Remember we talked about how everyone has private parts that are just for them? V*aginas are private parts.
Doodles: Private?
Me: It’s just like your p*enis is private and people can’t look at it.
Doodles: No, but it’s okay!! It’s okay if people look at my p*enis!<\/p>\n
After bath, I go for the moisturizer.
Doodles: NO! No! NO! I like dry skin! Don’t take away my dry skin!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Me: You know, you guys are having some issues tonight. I’d like for you to keep your hands off of each other in the bath tonight.More touching ensues.Me: If one more person touches the other, there won’t be a show tonigt.Doodles and Pie are playing with their bath letters. I look down at my magazine, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/435","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=435"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/435\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=435"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=435"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=435"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}