{"id":424,"date":"2007-06-27T20:28:00","date_gmt":"2007-06-27T20:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/2007\/06\/vacation-stats.html"},"modified":"2007-06-27T20:28:00","modified_gmt":"2007-06-27T20:28:00","slug":"vacation-stats","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/2007\/06\/vacation-stats.html","title":{"rendered":"Vacation Stats"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>How much sleep the man who only needs five hours of sleep a night actually gets: <br \/>7 p.m., in children&#8217;s playroom, with kids screaming and movie blaring: 1 hour<br \/>8:30 p.m., in bedroom, fully clothed, laying on bed: 2.25 hours<br \/>10:50 p.m., after brushing teeth and, still fully clothed, getting under the covers: 8 hours<br \/>2 p.m.: 1.45 hour nap<\/p>\n<p><a onblur=\"try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/uploaded_images\/IMGP7826-737571.JPG\" rel=\"lightbox[424]\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/uploaded_images\/IMGP7826-737012.JPG\" border=\"0\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a>Reason I have twenty photos of Pie to every one photo of Doodles: Doodles is a whirling dervish. Getting him to stand still for a photo is near impossible and requires serious bribes of sweets and\/or playtime.<\/p>\n<p>Signs that weaning is not in my future: Pie&#8217;s new trick is she pops off the br*east, smacks her lips, and cheers, with a smirk, &#8220;Yum, yum!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Sign I&#8217;m doing something right: After an accident, Doodles asks Adams, &#8220;Do only daddies always clean up poopie messes?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>How many times Doodles can ask between 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. if the afternoon cookies are out: 27<\/p>\n<p>Conversations you really don&#8217;t want your child having with other children:<br \/>Doodles: Do you know who Doodles Brown is?<br \/>New friend: No.<br \/>Doodles: He&#8217;s dead.<\/p>\n<p>A sign that you really need to be carrying tissues around with you: Doodles looks at Pie and then asks me, &#8220;If you eat green food, does it make your snot green?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Conversations you really don&#8217;t want to be having with your child:<br \/>Me: Well, you see, a long, long, long time ago, there were monkeys. And those monkeys had children and they were a little less monkey like and a little more human like. And <i>they<\/i> had kids and <i>their<\/i> kids were even more human like. Until eventually, over a long, long period of time, those monkeys became humans. And that&#8217;s called evolution.<br \/>Doodles: So monkeys can turn into people?<br \/>Me: Well, not exactly. You see&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Proof that Doodles is not really my child: &#8220;Marshmallows are yucky.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Proof that Pie really is my child: &#8220;More marshmallows! More marshmallows!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><a onblur=\"try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/uploaded_images\/IMGP7804-709541.JPG\" rel=\"lightbox[424]\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/uploaded_images\/IMGP7804-708981.JPG\" border=\"0\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a>Further proof that Pie is really my child: &#8220;Horse! Horse! Horse!&#8221; [Gets within a foot of the horse] &#8220;Ahhh! No like it! No like it! No like it!&#8221; [Cow moos, Pie jumps and screams] &#8220;No like cow! No like cow!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>What Doodles did at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.wildflowerinn.com\/kids\/default.asp?L3=1&amp;btf=1\">&#8220;Vermont Camp&#8221;<\/a>: nature walks, obstacle courses, painting, jumping in puddles, climbing on the climber, digging in the sandbox, chasing butterflies with nets, hunting for bugs, visiting the barn, getting read to.<\/p>\n<p>What Doodles said was his favorite part of Vermont Camp: having snack.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How much sleep the man who only needs five hours of sleep a night actually gets: 7 p.m., in children&#8217;s playroom, with kids screaming and movie blaring: 1 hour8:30 p.m., in bedroom, fully clothed, laying on bed: 2.25 hours10:50 p.m., after brushing teeth and, still fully clothed, getting under the covers: 8 hours2 p.m.: 1.45 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-424","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/424","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=424"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/424\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=424"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=424"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=424"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}