That devil has found new and unusual ways to torture me. There’s the straightforward approach:<\/p>\n
Before nap time, we have debates on whether or not she should change into her pajamas. She wins. Gets into pajamas.:<\/p>\n
Pie: I ready for nap.
Me: You’re tired?
Pie: Yeah.
Me: That’s great! So no crying?
Pie [squinching up face in her Pie way]: No, Sweetie cry.
Me: But you’re tired!
Pie: Yes.
Me: But you’re going to cry?
Pie: Yes.
Me: Why will Sweetie cry?
Pie: Because Sweetie cry and Mommy and Daddy get sad.
Me: So maybe you won’t cry?
Pie: No. Sweetie cry. So Mommy and Daddy get sad.<\/p>\n
But then there’s the insidious ways she inflicts her sadistic her persecution. Because Sweetie? She’s figured out the thing that will get me at the core. The thing that will<\/i> bring me to my knees. My Sweet Sweetie Pie, my little butterball, my little beauty, well… Sweetie had become Smoochless Sweetie.<\/p>\n
That’s right. My little one has cut me off from the thing that makes parenting worthwhile: those little pecks of the lips.<\/p>\n
I’m not even sure how it started, but it’s evolved to this:
Adam: Time to give Mommy a good-night smooch.
Pie: Okay.
Me: It’s nighty-night time for Sweetie Pie!
[I lean in. Pie’s hand shoots in front of her face]
Pie: No smooch! High five.
And so Pie gets a bedtime high five now.
She got me once when she was procrastinating. Adam came back downstairs.
Adam: She wants her smooch after all.
Pie: Smooch, Mommy!
Pie starts to move her mouth around in the our tradition of “warming up” the mouth for a smooch. I start to warm up my mouth. She leans toward me with a big pucker. I lean in and get within centimeters of her face when she jumps back.
Pie: NO!
The hand goes flying up.
Pie: High five. <\/p>\n
If I want to piss her off–which, yes, I occasionally want to do–I give her a smooch. “No!! No smooch! No smooch!” and she vigorously wipes it off. I like to taunt her, “Oh no, Sweetie! You still have a bit of smooch there!” I start wiping her face. “Oh, you missed a spot there!” She starts wiping. “There’s still smooch on me!” she’ll wail until her face has been sufficiently scrubbed. It’s my new form of punishment: Pie, if you don’t behave, I’m going to smooch you! Works every time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
That devil has found new and unusual ways to torture me. There’s the straightforward approach: Before nap time, we have debates on whether or not she should change into her pajamas. She wins. Gets into pajamas.: Pie: I ready for nap.Me: You’re tired?Pie: Yeah. Me: That’s great! So no crying?Pie [squinching up face in her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[5],"class_list":["post-378","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-pie"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/378","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=378"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/378\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=378"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=378"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=378"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}