Day 19 of Nanowrimo (challenge: use “There’s no way I’m going to see a doctor about that”):<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Trenton, this is my mom,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I said coldly. I prayed my mom would act cool and not like a gushing idiot fan.<\/p>\n
I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not sure why I was worried. There was really no doubt. My mom turned into a gushing idiot fan. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oh, my Trenton Locke! What an honor to meet you. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m such a fan of our work. I loved you in Marlowe\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s England<\/span> and thought your were divine in Jack in Love<\/span>.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d She went rifling through her purse. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I know I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got a camera in here somewhere. Can I get a picture with you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153For Lisa\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s mother?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Trenton said dramatically. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Anything!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153God, Mom,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I muttered, half under my breath at her. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Is this really necessary?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Lisa, I know this is your everyday life, but this is exciting for me!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d She finally snagged her camera and said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Got it!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d She handed it to me. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Do you mind?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n Trenton put his arm around her and pulled her close. My mom grinned like a silly sorority girl as I snapped the picture. <\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Take a few, just in case,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d my mom said.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s digital. I can tell I got it.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Just humor her, luv,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Trenton said. <\/p>\n I took a few more pictures before handing the camera back to my mom. Trenton turned to her, took her hand, and brought it to his mouth. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153A pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Friedman.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n My mother had the nerve to blush. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oh, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Helen!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she said.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Helen, then.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d He kissed her hand and then to me said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll see you on set.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n As he walked away I hissed to my mom, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Do you have any idea what kind of sleaze he is? Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you read People<\/span> or Us<\/span>?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Actually, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What about page two of the Herald<\/span>? Even that has chronicled his lecherous ways.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sure they exaggerate,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she said. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Anything to sell a paper, you know!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, he shtuped the nanny. No ways around it. While the kid was home!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oh please. And exactly what is your ‘reliable’ source? People<\/span>? The National Enquirer<\/span>?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n There was no point in telling my mom that my source was actually me. To my mom, the film world was this remote thing on TV and the actors and actresses these gods who deigned to entertain her. For me, the actors and actresses were the same neurotic, fucked-up people I hung out with on a daily basis. I actually knew for a fact exactly what happened between Trenton and the nanny because I was right there when his wife, well now ex, put everything together.<\/p>\n Cincinnati was an actress as well and she was actually working on one of Gary\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s blow-\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcem up films when it all came apart. I was going over her wardrobe in her trailer, taking the burnt up outfits and replacing them with ones that were still pristine. <\/p>\n She changed into the new outfit, but she was rubbing her thighs together uncomfortably. <\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Is the material bothering you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I asked. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Perhaps I could get the lining changed.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d The pants had to be a special inflammable cloth that wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t easily ignite. They were charred and blackened at the end, but not for real. Gary didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really set his actresses on fire, no matter how much they annoyed him.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153No, no,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she said. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Arg! I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t help myself!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d She began scratching herself between her legs.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Um, would you like me to come back later?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I asked. Cincinnati wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t considered the most refined woman. Publicists were forever trying to get her to lay off the drinking or attend some etiquette classes, but her trashy roots kept resurfacing.<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I swear to God\u00e2\u20ac\u201d\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she yelped. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What did that motherfucker give me!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n I began to piece it all together. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Uh, would you like me to get the crew medic in here? Or find you a doctor?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no way I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to see a doctor about this,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she said. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And if you tell one soul, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll make sure you never work again.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n An empty threat if ever there was one. When you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re sleeping with the director, there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s little you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do. But Cincinnati didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know about me and Gary. Besides, I saw no need to antagonize her.<\/p>\n It was only hours later when all hell broke loose. The nanny brought the kids to the set. Only she was walking a little oddly. <\/p>\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s wrong with you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Cincinnati asked the nanny suspiciously. <\/p>\n The nanny blushed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know, really. I think I just have an evil yeast infection.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n For someone the press had pegged as proof that natural selection is a myth, she put two and two together pretty damn fast. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153London, Berlin, you get inside this trailer right now!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she yelled to her kids as the first thing she found, which happened to be a fire extinguisher, went flying through the air toward the nanny\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s head. <\/p>\n One arrest, two days delay of shooting, and a restraining order later, Cincinnati was back onset. And Trenton was out on his ass.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Day 19 of Nanowrimo (challenge: use “There’s no way I’m going to see a doctor about that”): \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Trenton, this is my mom,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I said coldly. I prayed my mom would act cool and not like a gushing idiot fan. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not sure why I was worried. There was really no doubt. My mom turned into […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[50],"class_list":["post-357","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-nanowrimo"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=357"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=357"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=357"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=357"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}