{"id":333,"date":"2008-03-26T19:51:00","date_gmt":"2008-03-26T19:51:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/2008\/03\/my-week-in-lists.html"},"modified":"2008-03-26T19:51:00","modified_gmt":"2008-03-26T19:51:00","slug":"my-week-in-lists","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/2008\/03\/my-week-in-lists.html","title":{"rendered":"My Week in Lists"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Random things said to children on a Sunday night:<br \/>Pie, we don&#8217;t put artichoke leaves on our ears. Pie, seriously. Pie, get the artichokes out of your ears <i>now<\/i>! Pie, you can&#8217;t hide artichoke leaves in your hair, either. Pie!<\/p>\n<p>No, Pie, you cannot sleep with your <a href=\"http:\/\/www.aish.com\/purimmitzvot\/purimmitzvotdefault\/Laws_of_Mishloach_Manot.asp\">shalach manot<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Me: Doodles, you can&#8217;t celebrate both Purim and Easter. You have to pick just one.<br \/>Doodles: Okay. I&#8217;ll celebrate Easter.<\/p>\n<p>Questions asked in the car on one thirty-five-minute ride from home to ice skating:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Why does your shadow follow you?<\/li>\n<li>Why do babies wake up at night?<\/li>\n<li>Why do moms wear bras?<\/li>\n<li>What is that song about? [Song on radio: &#8220;Cruel to Be Kind&#8221;]<\/li>\n<li>Why is the world going to stop and melt? [Song on radio: &#8220;I&#8217;ll Stop the World and Melt with You&#8221;]<\/li>\n<li>Why did the pharaohs get buried in the pyramids the Jewish slaves built?<\/li>\n<li>How do they make the pointy part on the top of the pyramid?<\/li>\n<li>Why do people die in boxes?<\/li>\n<li>Then who puts them in boxes?<\/li>\n<li>Some cars, they have DVD players in them, in the top, and the kids can watch them when they are in the car. Why don&#8217;t we have a car like that?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Thing on shopping list that Adam insisted the Shaw&#8217;s didn&#8217;t carry:<br \/>Paper towels made out of recycled paper<\/p>\n<p>The thing I bought three packs of the next day at Shaw&#8217;s&#8211;on special! Buy one, get two free:<br \/>Paper towels made out of recycled paper<\/p>\n<p>My week in Facebook status updates:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Jenny is eating all of her daughter&#8217;s &#8220;potty treats.&#8221; Good thing there&#8217;s no danger of her daughter using the potty anytime soon. 3:12pm<\/li>\n<li>Jenny is not sure where she&#8217;s going to come up with a 4T sized king costume by 4 p.m. tomorrow&#8230;. 5:27pm<\/li>\n<li>Jenny can freakin&#8217; work miracles. 1:11pm<\/li>\n<li>Jenny is making an&#8211;ack&#8211;princess potty chart. 11:41am<\/li>\n<li>Jenny is laughing at Adam for not realizing that the &#8220;C&#8221; in YMCA meant it would be closed on Easter Sunday. 7:08am<\/li>\n<li>Jenny can&#8217;t believe the things she obsesses about. 11:27pm<\/li>\n<li>Jenny would rather be in Paris. Cafe au lait anyone? 5:19am<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Things that surprise Adam:<br \/>Pie: I want a Cinderella coloring sheet!<br \/>Adam: Look, there&#8217;s one!<br \/>Pie: <i>That<\/i>&#8216;s not Cinderella! <i>That<\/i>&#8216;s Snow White!<br \/>Adam to me: She knows the difference between Cinderella and Snow White?!?<\/p>\n<p>My typical Tuesday:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Argue with Pie about getting into the car.<\/li>\n<li>8:45 a.m. Argue with Pie about dropping Doodles off at school. No she <span style=\"font-style:italic;\">cannot<\/span> stay in the car by herself.<\/li>\n<li>Argue with Pie about holding hands crossing the street to go to singalong.<\/li>\n<li>Contemplate a detour to the orphanage.<\/li>\n<li>10: 15 a.m. Tell Pie she can&#8217;t order her friend, A, to dance with her, no matter how much Pie wants to dance with A and <i>only<\/i> with A.<\/li>\n<li>Tell Pie that no, A&#8217;s mother cannot take Pie to the muffin shop because <i>I<\/i> am going to take Pie to the muffin shop.<\/li>\n<li>Lose Pie&#8217;s shoe in the street on the way to the muffin shop, but don&#8217;t realize that&#8217;s why she&#8217;s screaming because she&#8217;s always screaming.<\/li>\n<li>Sheepishly remove shoe from street when a trucker yells to me, &#8220;Hey, your daughter lost her shoe.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Notice teenlike smirk on Pie&#8217;s face.<\/li>\n<li>Tell Pie that she has to come home with me, she cannot go home with A and her mother.<\/li>\n<li>Argue with Pie about how many pieces her muffin should be cut into.<\/li>\n<li>Consider letting Pie go home with A and conveniently &#8220;forgetting&#8221; to pick her up&#8211;for a week or two.<\/li>\n<li>Reassert with a little less conviction that Pie has to come home with me.<\/li>\n<li>Argue with Pie about taking juice into the car.<\/li>\n<li>Noon: Pick Doodles up from school.<\/li>\n<li>Argue with Pie about lack of snack provided a mere twenty minutes after her juice and muffin.<\/li>\n<li>Drive an extra twenty minutes to make sure Pie falls asleep.<\/li>\n<li>Relax with Doodles. Read a book. Play some Legos. Have lunch. Take a brief nap.<\/li>\n<li>2:30 p.m. Pie wakes up. Change Pie. Feed Pie. Appease Pie. Pie Pie Pie Pie Pie.<\/li>\n<li>Take kids to swimming class.<\/li>\n<li>Sit alone for thirty glorious minutes.<\/li>\n<li>5 p.m. Take kids to &#8220;Tasty Tuesday&#8221; at Whole Foods.<\/li>\n<li>Try to shush kids as they scream at the top of their lungs, &#8220;LOOK! THERE&#8217;S ANOTHER SAMPLE! GO, MOMMY, GO!!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Get out of Whole Foods with just two $97 bags full of groceries.<\/li>\n<li>6:20 p.m. Get kids in bath.<\/li>\n<li>Argue with them about bubbles. &#8220;No bubbles!&#8221; insists Doodles. &#8220;BUBBLES!&#8221; insists Pie.<\/li>\n<li>Let them play\/fight in the tub.<\/li>\n<li>Tolerate screaming while hair is washed.<\/li>\n<li>6:45 p.m. Adam walks in. Hand over kids half bathed and hide in the office. <\/li>\n<li>Wonder if Adam could function if I decided to take the summer off to travel and do something that&#8217;s easier than dealing with Pie, like cure cancer or end poverty.<\/li>\n<li>Spend one and a half hours trying to cajole Pie into bed.<\/li>\n<li>Kids sleep. I zonk.<\/li>\n<li>9 p.m. Miss the kids. Consider waking them so I can cuddle with them.<\/li>\n<li>9:01 p.m. Adam blocks stairs to keep me from making huge mistake.<\/li>\n<li>11:45 p.m. Go to bed after working on top-secret preschool project that is taking way more time than I would have thought.<\/li>\n<li>11:57 p.m. Set alarm for 5 a.m. Boot camp tomorrow!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Evidence Pie is ready for college:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>She prefers her pizza cold<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s up at all hours<\/li>\n<li>She finds bodily functions hilarious<\/li>\n<li>You can&#8217;t get that girl off her cell phone<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s a little cliquish<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s perfected the eye roll<\/li>\n<li>She binge eats<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s got the moves<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Watch out <del>Dartmouth<\/del> <del>U Mass<\/del> <del>Middlesex Community College<\/del> Blaine Beauty School!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Random things said to children on a Sunday night:Pie, we don&#8217;t put artichoke leaves on our ears. Pie, seriously. Pie, get the artichokes out of your ears now! Pie, you can&#8217;t hide artichoke leaves in your hair, either. Pie! No, Pie, you cannot sleep with your shalach manot. Me: Doodles, you can&#8217;t celebrate both Purim [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3,54,5],"class_list":["post-333","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-doodles","tag-parenting","tag-pie"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/333","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=333"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/333\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=333"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=333"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=333"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}