You should all know, of course, that I love my daughter. She is bright and outgoing and energetic, with tons of spunk. That said, she will not SHUT UP! Not for two seconds!There’s this constant stream just pouring uncontrollably from her. My goal for today was to finish unpacking the apartment. Pie’s goal was to make me absolutely insane.<\/p>\n
Pie: Can we go up to Storyland and pick up Cinderella and she can come over for a sleep over and she can sleep with me?
Me: I think Cinderella’s pretty busy doing princess stuff.
Pie: Please. Please. Puh-lease!!! I want Cinderella to come over for a sleep over. We can pick her up in our car and she can sit next to me and we’ll drive her here and she can sleep with me. Puh-lease!!! I want Cinderella to come over. [I can’t quite capture it, but imagine this little monologue repeats itself for about fifteen minutes.]
Me: Cinderella is not coming over.
Pie: Puh-lease! Why can’t she come over?
Me: She’s very busy. She’s doing princess things.
Pie: Why is she a princess?
Me: Because I believe she’s married to a prince.
Pie: Prince Charming?
Me: Right.
Pie: Is that her daddy?
Me: No, her husband.
Pie: Husband?
Me: Yes. Like Daddy is my husband.
Pie: Oh. Well can Cinderella come and go swimming with me?
Me: Pie, Cinderella cannot go swimming with you.
Pie: Why not?
Doodles: Silly! Of course Cinderella can’t swim with you! She doesn’t own a bathing suit!
Pie: Oh. Well, can you go pick up Cinderella and she can come down and watch me go swimming? I really want Cinderella to come down and watch me go swimming. She can just watch me because she doesn’t own a bathing suit and I really want her to come down and watch me go swimming, so can we go get her now? Pul-LEASE!
Me: No, we can’t go get Cinderella now.
Pie: [near tears] But I want to see Cinderella! Can we go to Storyland again?
Me: Sure! We’ll go next summer.
Pie: But I want to go NOW! Can’t we go NOW!
Me: We cannot go now.
Pie: But why not?
Me: Well, you don’t want to miss school!
Pie: [thinks for a moment] Can Cinderella sleep we me? Can we have Cinderella over and she can sit next to me and she can sleep with me?<\/p>\n
It’s actually all a very devious, manipulative ploy by the Pie, because by the time we’re on the fifth iteration of this conversation, I suggest, “How about a show?” I think it’s her daylong assault on me to guarantee TV time. The girl is good. I see a future in politics for her. If there’s anyone who could take Sarah Palin down, Pie is your person!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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