{"id":2535,"date":"2014-12-23T07:38:32","date_gmt":"2014-12-23T12:38:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/?p=2535"},"modified":"2014-12-23T07:38:32","modified_gmt":"2014-12-23T12:38:32","slug":"tmi-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/2014\/12\/tmi-2.html","title":{"rendered":"TMI*"},"content":{"rendered":"

*Too Much Information. In other words, this post is not for the faint of heart. If this is you, move along.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

(Still here? Okay.)
\nYesterday morning, the boy picked up a piece of mail from my gynecologist that was sitting on the counter. “What’s this?” he asked.<\/p>\n

“It says my lady parts are good,” I told him.<\/p>\n

He opened the paper. “What’s a pap smear?”<\/p>\n

“It’s a test women get to make sure everything is doing okay down there,” I said.<\/p>\n

“How do they do it?” he asked.<\/p>\n

“Well,” I said, thinking about how one explains a pap smear. “The doctor takes this thing called a ‘speculum’ and she puts it inside the woman’s vaginal canal and she cranks it open.” I make eh-eh-eh<\/em> cranking noises here. “And then she sticks a long Q-tip inside of me to reach my cervix so she can take a tissue sample to make sure there’s no cervical cancer.”<\/p>\n

“A speculum?” he asked.<\/p>\n

“I bet we can find a picture online,” I said, and in a few minutes, the boy and I were engrossed in an article from The Atlantic<\/em> called “Why No One Can Design a Better Speculum.”<\/a> We only got through the first page because we had to leave for school but the first page really gave all the info we needed.<\/p>\n

Also yesterday morning. The girl is, um, backed up. I fed her an Ex Lax and sent her to school. When I picked her up today, there wasn’t much movement. So of course I told Adam. Because wouldn’t a father want to know about that stuff?<\/p>\n

Me: Pie still hasn’t pooped.
\nMe: Oh, wait! She might be pooping. Not sure.
\nAdam: We have the best IM conversations.
\nMe: Listen. I can have IM conversations with someone else, if you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like it. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sure the Duchess would be fascinated to know about your daughter\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s bowel movements.
\nAdam: \\o\/
\nMe: If the boy can handle speculums, you can handle poop!<\/p>\n

Oddly, I didn’t hear from him again. Whatever.<\/p>\n

And if anyone wants to I.M. about poop–or speculums–just give me a buzz.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

*Too Much Information. In other words, this post is not for the faint of heart. If this is you, move along.     (Still here? Okay.) Yesterday morning, the boy picked up a piece of mail from my gynecologist that was sitting on the counter. “What’s this?” he asked. “It says my lady parts are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[14,3,87,5,136],"class_list":["post-2535","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-adam","tag-doodles","tag-family","tag-pie","tag-tmi"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2535","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2535"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2535\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2535"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2535"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2535"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}