{"id":2432,"date":"2014-03-05T14:58:34","date_gmt":"2014-03-05T19:58:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/?p=2432"},"modified":"2014-03-05T14:58:34","modified_gmt":"2014-03-05T19:58:34","slug":"the-joys-of-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/2014\/03\/the-joys-of-children.html","title":{"rendered":"The Joys of Children"},"content":{"rendered":"

Pie is having a problem with her butt. Excuse, not her butt. Your butt. Your<\/em> anus, to be precise.<\/p>\n

“It’s pronounced Yur-uh-ness<\/em>!” she screeches from across the house.<\/p>\n

Whatever. Planets were chosen while we were on vacation, so Pie was assigned hers. Yur-uh-ness<\/em>. Models must be made. The ring of Yur-uh-ness<\/em> isn’t staying up well (in deference to the abilities of the sculptor and the limitations of Model Magic, Yur-uh-ness<\/em>‘s eleven rings got mushed into one), and we apparently are a house full of ten year olds.<\/p>\n

Uranus. Hee hee.<\/p>\n

The girl deserves it, though. She’s become a mouthy little thing. In the car, I said to Pie and Doodles, “No bickering, you guys! This is a bicker-free zone,” to which she instantly shot back, “I don’t see a sign.” We’re entering the tween years folks. For the teen years, I’ll be renting her out as birth control.<\/p>\n

And the boy? He thinks if he steals cookies but leaves one in the package, no one will notice. Hey, Butch Cassidy. We’re on to your tricks.<\/p>\n

The boy just had his first experience of school sex-ed. What’d he learn? “Oh, hormones and crap. Oh and we’re supposed shower. And use deodorant. Every day<\/em>!” Gasp! The expectations! Not that he’s following orders.<\/p>\n

Mouthy and smelly. Five more and I’ll have a full set of dwarves. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pie is having a problem with her butt. Excuse, not her butt. Your butt. Your anus, to be precise. “It’s pronounced Yur-uh-ness!” she screeches from across the house. Whatever. Planets were chosen while we were on vacation, so Pie was assigned hers. Yur-uh-ness. Models must be made. The ring of Yur-uh-ness isn’t staying up well […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3,5],"class_list":["post-2432","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-doodles","tag-pie"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2432","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2432"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2432\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2432"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2432"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2432"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}