{"id":2036,"date":"2012-03-07T22:16:34","date_gmt":"2012-03-08T03:16:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/?p=2036"},"modified":"2012-03-07T22:19:04","modified_gmt":"2012-03-08T03:19:04","slug":"you-me-and-a-bottle-of-wine-minus-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/2012\/03\/you-me-and-a-bottle-of-wine-minus-you.html","title":{"rendered":"You, Me, and a Bottle of Wine (Minus You)"},"content":{"rendered":"

When Pie came home from school today, she said, “Mommy! You had a lot<\/em> of candy today, didn’t you!”<\/p>\n

“Huh?” I cleverly responded.<\/p>\n

“You had a real lot of candy today! I see a lot<\/em> of candy wrappers in the garbage! Exactly how much candy did you eat today?”<\/p>\n

I ate a f*ckload of candy. What do you expect? I want a freakin’ medal for surviving this week. Oh wait. It’s only Wednesday.<\/p>\n

As you know, Adam went to Germany on Sunday. “Oh the travel is so hard! Oh, I’m so tired!” Yeah, bite me buddy.<\/p>\n

This was day 1, aka Monday:
\nWrite 1,000 words of work in progress novel
\nSupervise homework, Hebrew school homework, and the building of Neptune
\nRun lines and practice songs for Doodles’s play audition
\nTeach son how to wash face (he has a medicine he uses on his face that needs to be washed off. After breakfast, I said, don’t forget to wash the medicine off your face, plus you have egg yolk on you. On way to school, notice the egg yolk is still on his face. “You didn’t wash!” “Yes, I did!” “But you still have egg yolk on you.” “Well, yeah. It’s not like I use water when I wash my face.” Uh….)
\nTake child to play audition at 6:30 p.m.
\nBe wrangled into chairing a committee for play
\nArgue with son in car on why Eli Manning is superior to Tom Brady; yelling ensues.
\nGet child back from audition, retrieve daughter from neighbors, in time for hosting a 7:30 meeting for the synagogue at my house<\/p>\n

Deep breath, on to day 2:
\nVolunteer for Books on the Go in first grade
\nWrite 1,200 words of Work in Progress (WIP)
\nBack up WIP to Dropbox
\nVolunteer for workboard in first grade
\nDaughter meltdown in first grade
\nMother meltdown in first grade
\nMother takes away every extra activity
\nMother immediately regrets taking away every extra activity because it messes up carpool and brother’s plans
\nMother, in a most unauthoritative way, recants
\nBring boy to Hebrew school
\nBring girl to ballet
\nPost office, library, bank
\nPick girl up from ballet
\nFeed children
\nBring boy, girl, and Pinewood derby car to Cub Scout meeting that goes an hour past girl’s bedtime<\/p>\n

Deep breath, on to day 3:
\nDaughter wakes me up at 6 a.m.
\nReprimand daughter for washing hands for too short of a time after using the bathroom. “You need to wash for at least 20 seconds,” I tell her. “Wet your hands, soap up, rub, rinse, dry.” The girl informs me, “But there’s no soap in that bathroom.” Excuse me? “There’s been no soap for a few months.” “So you and your brother have been going to the bathroom and not using soap to wash for a few months now?” “Yeah.”
\nWrite school newsletter
\nGo to mall to buy socks, birthday present, and underwear (for the boy)
\nTweak WIP a little
\nWith five minutes till school pick up time, realize that the work in progress I’m currently working on is actually a version from a month ago, as Dropbox somehow synched my computer’s version with the one on Dropbox from February
\nFreak out
\nPick up daughter
\nFreak out some more
\nTake daughter to ice skating
\nYell at daughter because I’m freaking out about WIP
\nTry to find a current version of work in progress
\nTake son to to string instrument concert rehearsal
\nGo to store, playground, and freak out
\nPick son up from string instrument concert rehearsal
\nFreak out
\nRealize kitchen lights are somehow broken as the circuit keeps flipping and won’t stay on
\nFeed kids in the dark
\nPlay with computer some more
\nFIND CURRENT WORK IN PROGRESS!
\nFeel guilty for yelling; tell kids they can eat extra hamantashen
\nTake the kids to synagogue for the Megillah<\/a> reading and Purim party
\nLoad kids up with sugar
\nGet children, who are normally in bed by 7, home at 9 and to bed<\/p>\n

And the sad part? I don’t drink when Adam’s not in town! So I’m here, beat, done, exhausted, and stone cold sober.<\/p>\n

Tomorrow night, when Adam is home, I’m holing up in front of reality TV with a big ass bottle of wine. Don’t call. Don’t write. Don’t even think about me. Just leave me and bottle of wine in peace while I find my happy place.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When Pie came home from school today, she said, “Mommy! You had a lot of candy today, didn’t you!” “Huh?” I cleverly responded. “You had a real lot of candy today! I see a lot of candy wrappers in the garbage! Exactly how much candy did you eat today?” I ate a f*ckload of candy. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3,17,5],"class_list":["post-2036","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-doodles","tag-me","tag-pie"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2036","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2036"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2036\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2036"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2036"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2036"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}