Boston is famous for its drivers. We even have a special term for them. They’re called Massholes. For me, personally, though, the word uttered most frequently while driving is “a$$wipe.” I don’t know where the word came from. I don’t know why I say it. I never use the term outside of my car. But inside the car, the a$$wipes fly freely.<\/p>\n
Today for example. Driving home from Cambridge. At rush hour. One car cuts me off, another stops at a yellow, and another hangs out in the box.<\/p>\n
Me: Godd*amn, motherf&%$* a$$wipe! Freakin’ a$$wipe drivers.<\/p>\n
The boy: Why do you call them that?<\/p>\n
Me: Because they are. Every freakin’ last one of those drivers out there is an a$$wipe. All drivers are a$$wipes.<\/p>\n
The boy: You’re a driver. So you’re an a$$wipe.<\/p>\n
Me: Not me. I’m not an a$$wipe. Every other<\/em> driver is an a$$wipe. And you shouldn’t be saying “a$$wipe.”<\/p>\n The girl: Daddy drives.<\/p>\n Me: Yeah, and he’s an a$$wipe when he drives.<\/p>\n The girl: Are you saying Beetle is an a$$wipe?<\/p>\n Me: No. Well, unless she’s driving. Then, yeah, I guess she’s one too. I don’t think you’re understanding. Everyone who is not me behind a wheel is an a$$wipe.<\/em><\/p>\n The girl: Beetle says that her husband is a crazy driver!<\/p>\n Me: Probably is.<\/p>\n The girl: So is he an a$$wipe?<\/p>\n Me: I really don’t think you should be saying that word.<\/p>\n The boy: Yeah. You should say “jacka$$” instead.<\/p>\n Me: No, not that either.<\/p>\n The boy: Why not?<\/p>\n Me: People tend not to like it when you say “a$$” anything.<\/p>\n The boy: What about a$$ idiot?<\/p>\n Me: Yeah, not that either. “A$$” is pretty much out.<\/p>\n The boy: Oh.<\/p>\n Guy freakin’ cuts me off again.<\/p>\n Me: A$$wipe!!<\/p>\n The girl: Mom!<\/p>\n Me: I’m a grown-up! Leave me alone. I’ll give you sugar when we get home.<\/p>\n I’m practicing my parenting speech as I type…. (And how many readers did I lose with this post?)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Boston is famous for its drivers. We even have a special term for them. They’re called Massholes. For me, personally, though, the word uttered most frequently while driving is “a$$wipe.” I don’t know where the word came from. I don’t know why I say it. I never use the term outside of my car. But […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3,81,17,5,82],"class_list":["post-1836","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-doodles","tag-driving","tag-me","tag-pie","tag-swearing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1836","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1836"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1836\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1836"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1836"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1836"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}