The boy went outside in his socks, no shoes, after being told not to. I told him he could go out in shoes or barefeet, but not in just socks.<\/p>\n
A pair of socks coated in mud appeared mysteriously on the front porch.
\nMe: Are those yours?
\nThe boy: Yes.
\nMe: After I told you not to?
\nThe boy: I couldn’t help it! Tab and Nevada stole my shoes!
\nMe: And you couldn’t get your socks off, too?
\nThe boy: No! The took my shoes and then held me in place so I couldn’t get my socks off.
\nMe: Wait, I don’t understand. They took your shoes off while you were standing?
\nThe boy: No, I was on the ground. But then they stood me up and held me so I couldn’t get my socks off.
\nMe: Whatever. You owe us $3 from your spend jar for new socks.<\/p>\n
Later:
\nAdam: What’s with that present for me on the front porch?
\nMe: Present?
\nAdam: The mud-coated socks.
\nI tell Adam what the boy did.
\nMe: I told him he has to pay us $3 for new socks.
\nThe boy: Noooo!
\nAdam: He shouldn’t have to pay. I’ll just teach him how to do laundry.
\nMe: No! That’s just cruel and unusual punishment.
\nAdam: Just because laundry ruined your childhood doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ruin his.
\nMe: No, no laundry.
\nThe boy: Why’s that?
\nMe: I’m allergic to laundry.
\nAdam to the kids: I blame Nana and Peter for your mother being allergic to laundry.<\/p>\n
I apologize to whomever ends up marrying either my daughter or son. Neither one will be able to do laundry. I plan on making sure of that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The boy went outside in his socks, no shoes, after being told not to. I told him he could go out in shoes or barefeet, but not in just socks. A pair of socks coated in mud appeared mysteriously on the front porch. Me: Are those yours? The boy: Yes. Me: After I told you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3,76],"class_list":["post-1778","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-doodles","tag-laundry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1778","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1778"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1778\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1778"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1778"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1778"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}