I was tweeting the wedding, but I’m not one to keep my thoughts to 140 characters so I decided I’d rather share them on the blog. Here they are in all their randomness. If you have no interest in the wedding, just move along.<\/p>\n
—Am I watching the royal wedding because I happen to be awake? Or do I happen to be awake because of the royal wedding? I’ll never tell. Okay, girl has returned, the prince and princess are at Buckingham Palace, and it’s officially time for me to get dressed and start my day. Enough fairy tales for one day. Time for the ogres and trolls of working on the town’s override. Grrrr….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was tweeting the wedding, but I’m not one to keep my thoughts to 140 characters so I decided I’d rather share them on the blog. Here they are in all their randomness. If you have no interest in the wedding, just move along. —Am I watching the royal wedding because I happen to be […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3,17,5],"class_list":["post-1773","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-doodles","tag-me","tag-pie"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1773","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1773"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1773\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1773"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1773"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennyandadam.com\/Jenny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1773"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n—Okay, yes I will. I’m awake because I have to send out school newsletter, write an op-ed piece for paper and shop for teacher appreciation week.
\n—But it was fun to be all mysterious and bandwagon-y for a few minutes.
\n—Well, I did just wake up the five year old to watch the wedding. I’ll regret that at about 8 a.m. when it’s time to go to school. So maybe I am all bandwagon-y.
\n—Watching Royal Wedding is giving the girl some bad ideas. Some very, very bad ideas. No, we won’t play horns and stand up when you enter a room like they do for the Queen.
\n—The boy has joined us.
\n—Trying to explain royal lineage to the kids. Not going well. “So that’s the Queen. And her son is a prince. And her husband is a prince. And the one getting married is a prince.” “So where’s the king?” “There is no king.”
\n—People think Kate or her mom must be nervous. But really, you know who must be the most terrified person in that room? The mother of the three-year-old bridesmaid. I wouldn’t want to be her if that kid has a meltdown mid-ceremony.
\n—The boy, “So is that the king?” “No, there is no king. When the Queen dies, her son, Prince Charles, will become King of England, but right now there is no king, just a lot of princes.”
\n—Pie: “So which one is getting married?” Me: “Not the cute one.”
\n—Pie wants to know why there are trees growing in Westminster Abbey. I tell her I don’t know.
\n—Wouldn’t you feel a little like an ass being the only adult bridesmaid among all those kids. Kind of like, “Hey, did they really want me or did they just need a nanny?”
\n—I hadn’t expected the vows to be quite so cliche.
\n—Adam’s joined us. He and Pie are providing commentary. Adam asks, “Why are there trees in Westminster Abbey?” Guess what? I still don’t know.
\n—Adam: “How early did those people in front of Westminster Abbey and Buckingham Palace have to arrive to get those prime front spots?” “I don’t know. Hey, ‘They’re changing the guards at Buckingham Palace. Christopher Robin went down with Alice.<\/a>‘” Pie: “Wait, so Alice is getting married?”
\n—Kate doesn’t look so happy. I love that “What the hell have I gotten myself into?” look.
\n—Ooh, Pippa looks pissed. I bet she’s thinking, “Damn that Kate! She told me there’d be cute page boys. She didn’t say they’d still be in short pants!”
\n—The boy asked if they can have breakfast in front of the TV. I said sure and I asked the Royal Butler to serve them.
\n—The boy asked for salami and eggs. The girl asked for salami and bread. But we’re out of bread. “Okay, I’ll have salami and Kix, then.” They’re not eating this well at Buckingham Palace!
\n—Have you noticed I’m here? I really should be doing that work I woke up to do. At least I got the school newsletter out already. But it’s hard to write an op-ed about the town needing an override to pay for a few teachers when there are trees growing in<\/i> Westminster Abbey. What is<\/i> with those trees?
\n—The prince looks like he’s bored out of his mind. Kate is off in la-la land. Not the sign of a good wedding.
\n—Why the depressing wedding? Those Anglicans could learn something from the Jews. A wedding is 15 minutes, maybe 20. Walk in, couple of blessings, circle, circle, circle, circle, circle, circle, circle, break a glass, party! None of this sad choir stuff.
\n—How fast was the guy who dropped ABC’s live feed fired? I—and about a zillion others—just switched to CBS.
\n—My former Amazonian office mate, Simon, is a Brit, who is up at 3 a.m. Seattle time to watch the wedding. So I asked him all our questions: “Why are there trees in Westminster Abbey? Why haven’t they kissed? What exactly is all this Anglican stuff?” He answered me: “Trees look pretty. William is scared of kissing. Anglicanism gives you all the poetry without having to believe very much.”
\n—Me: “Wow, look at everyone at Buckingham Palace!” “What’s Buckingham Palace?” “It’s where the Queen lives.” “And the king?” “No, there is NO king!”
\n—Poor Pippa. From babysitting the bridesmaids to cleaning up after the princess.
\n—There’s a real pecking order at this wedding. First, did you get an invite? Only 1,900 people did. Then, did you get invited to the Queen’s luncheon? One of 600! Going to the dinner at the palace? You’re one of 300. At the dinner tonight, do you think they’ll all say, “Had we been invited to the wedding, but not invited to the luncheon, Dayenu…”
\n—My son: “Is it a national holiday there?” Me: “Yes, no one is working today in England.” Boy: “Well, except the police.” Me: “Oh, yes, there’s tons of security at the wedding!” Boy: “Today would be a good day to steal something because everyone’s at the wedding.”
\n—The boy asks, “So is that Queen Victoria?” “No, Queen Elizabeth.” “Victoria and Elizabeth have been popular with Queens. There was Queen Victoria the First, Queen Victoria the Second. Queen Elizabeth the First, Queen Elizabeth the Second.” “I don’t think there was a second Queen Victoria.” “Oh.” “How the hell do you know any<\/em> queens of England?” “I dunno.”
\n—The boy: “Boy, Catherine is going to hate that dress when she tries to get it off!”
\n—Me: “So there’s the Queen. And the prince.” Pie: “I thought you said there was no prince!”
\n—I would like to note that we need to be out of the house in 33 minutes, and both kids are still in pajamas lounging on the couch.
\n—The girl: “They just said Facebook and Twitter! They’re on Facebook and Twitter!” Me: “What does Facebook and Twitter mean?” The girl: “It means you can make e-mails to strangers that you don’t even know by them looking at your stuff!”
\n—The boy: “Why do they salute with their hand upside down? That looks like a wrist breaker to me. The palace is big! I wonder if they have a baseball field there. Or a football field.”
\n—I sent the kids to dress and promised I’d stay here so if anything exciting happens, I could pause.
\n—That girl has never dressed so fast. Although I used “dressed” loosely. Forgot to change her underwear, didn’t brush her hair, and couldn’t be bothered to fasten her dress closed.<\/p>\n