Shut UP!

September 4th, 2008 § Comments Off on Shut UP! § permalink

You should all know, of course, that I love my daughter. She is bright and outgoing and energetic, with tons of spunk. That said, she will not SHUT UP! Not for two seconds!There’s this constant stream just pouring uncontrollably from her. My goal for today was to finish unpacking the apartment. Pie’s goal was to make me absolutely insane.

Pie: Can we go up to Storyland and pick up Cinderella and she can come over for a sleep over and she can sleep with me?
Me: I think Cinderella’s pretty busy doing princess stuff.
Pie: Please. Please. Puh-lease!!! I want Cinderella to come over for a sleep over. We can pick her up in our car and she can sit next to me and we’ll drive her here and she can sleep with me. Puh-lease!!! I want Cinderella to come over. [I can’t quite capture it, but imagine this little monologue repeats itself for about fifteen minutes.]
Me: Cinderella is not coming over.
Pie: Puh-lease! Why can’t she come over?
Me: She’s very busy. She’s doing princess things.
Pie: Why is she a princess?
Me: Because I believe she’s married to a prince.
Pie: Prince Charming?
Me: Right.
Pie: Is that her daddy?
Me: No, her husband.
Pie: Husband?
Me: Yes. Like Daddy is my husband.
Pie: Oh. Well can Cinderella come and go swimming with me?
Me: Pie, Cinderella cannot go swimming with you.
Pie: Why not?
Doodles: Silly! Of course Cinderella can’t swim with you! She doesn’t own a bathing suit!
Pie: Oh. Well, can you go pick up Cinderella and she can come down and watch me go swimming? I really want Cinderella to come down and watch me go swimming. She can just watch me because she doesn’t own a bathing suit and I really want her to come down and watch me go swimming, so can we go get her now? Pul-LEASE!
Me: No, we can’t go get Cinderella now.
Pie: [near tears] But I want to see Cinderella! Can we go to Storyland again?
Me: Sure! We’ll go next summer.
Pie: But I want to go NOW! Can’t we go NOW!
Me: We cannot go now.
Pie: But why not?
Me: Well, you don’t want to miss school!
Pie: [thinks for a moment] Can Cinderella sleep we me? Can we have Cinderella over and she can sit next to me and she can sleep with me?

It’s actually all a very devious, manipulative ploy by the Pie, because by the time we’re on the fifth iteration of this conversation, I suggest, “How about a show?” I think it’s her daylong assault on me to guarantee TV time. The girl is good. I see a future in politics for her. If there’s anyone who could take Sarah Palin down, Pie is your person!

Sniff Sniff

September 4th, 2008 § 1 comment § permalink

Yesterday, at the playground, I leaned back on the bench and put my hands behind my head as I gazed around… (You all know this is pure artistic license, as no mother of two ever gets to lean back on a bench and just gaze around. If–if–she gets to sit, she’s hunched over, ready to jump up as she shouts, “Pie! Get down from there! You are not big enough for those monkey bars! Doodles! Doodles! What are you doing? You know better! We do not hang upside down from the see saw! Oh shit, where the hell are the Band-Aids?”). Where was I? Oh right, sitting on my literary device, gazing out at an idyllic scene of children happily playing, when I smelled something pretty foul. I turned my head a bit to figure out what it was and then I got it. The smell was me.

I go running three mornings a week. On a fourth morning I do boot camp. I generally cross-train one other day a week (biking, yoga, occasionally even a swim). And that means I shower at a minimum four days a week, but usually five.

Only I sprained a tendon. And I’m off of running for two weeks. Which, inadvertently, has led me to two shower-free weeks.

The thing is, I just don’t think about taking showers when I’m not all sweaty and gross. So days and days go by without cleanliness. Until I sniff. And then I go running for the water.

Funny thing, at my kids’ annual check-ups yesterday, I asked how often they needed to bathe, because my kids HATE it. With a passion. And the answer was, that kids really only need it when the dirt is absolutely caked on or, really, every three or four weeks. They don’t get oily and greasy like grown-ups do.

So there you go. Adam showers to go to work–usually. And the rest of us will be living a life embracing the dirt. You may not want to come by until I start running again. This small apartment can really absorb smells…

What I Think About When I Can’t Sleep.

September 1st, 2008 § Comments Off on What I Think About When I Can’t Sleep. § permalink

What time is it? Oy. It’s move day. The house is only half packed. If I start to wrap dishes in paper, will I wake the kids? What the HELL did I do to my foot? This week’s 10 miler was a mistake. Which podiatrist should I see? Maybe Adam’s right and we shouldn’t have chosen to move into a teeny-tiny apartment and remodel during an election year. How did I end up with a Republican? My baby isn’t ready for kindergarten. I wonder where Mrs. Ferrer, my kindergarten teacher, is? Ugh, those stupid red mats we had to lie down on, and how often I did end up napping. “I pledge allegiance to the flag…” Mrs. Ferrer wasn’t Mrs. Ferrer though, till I had her in first grade. She was Miss Rios in kindergarten and after a couple of weeks of first grade, when answer me when I called her Miss Rios. Gads, she was probably half my age right now when she was my teacher. My baby is so not ready for that big elementary school. My baby. My babies. Remember Sophie’s Choice? How did she make that choice. I could never do that. But what if the Nazis were about to get them? Don’t think about it! Don’t think about it! Is it time to get up yet? Ugh. Not yet. Man, my foot is buggin’ me. What kind of paint should I let the kids use to mess up the walls tonight? Doodles wants to write, “Good-bye house” on the walls. Are we really doing this? This is the house I had my children in. Do I really want to mess with it? Will this stupid project ever get underway? Did I really agree to be a room parent at the preschool? And I’ve got to plan that Sukkot program soon. What can we do that’s different from the last one? Can I bake round hallahs in that tiny apartment kitchen? I said I’d start working again tomorrow. Am I really going to start working again tomorrow? I’m too tired to start working again tomorrow. How are we going to get all the crap out of our house? Is it time to get up yet? Ugh. Sleep or coffee? Sleep or coffee? What time does Starbucks open on Labor Day? What time is it now? Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. It’s move day. Ugh.

Early Morning Ramblings

August 29th, 2008 § 1 comment § permalink

Adam swears this actually happened this morning. I’m a little dubious of it, but he insists:

Doodles and Pie were dancing when Doodles announced: “You can find more music on DoodlesandPie.com. And you can order us online for birthday parties and shows.”

Of course, while I was sitting in my office typing this, I heard a terrible moan and an “OH NO!” come from the kitchen.

“What’s wrong?!” I asked,prepared to leap up to get bandages, call a plumber, or do whatever it is that warranted such an “OH NO!”

“We’re out of coffee filters!!” A moment’s pause. A big sigh of relief. “It’s okay! It’s okay! We have that gold one! Thank god. I just saw my life passing before me for a moment.”

Too much coffee? Too much computer talk? Too much too much? Might be time for a cupcake. Yes, there are still some left.

Why I Eat Cupcakes for Breakfast

August 28th, 2008 § Comments Off on Why I Eat Cupcakes for Breakfast § permalink

This is what my office looks like:

This is what my living room looks like:

This is what the kids’ playroom looks like:

So I’ve mentioned before there are things I don’t blog about. But the biggest one consuming me must now come out of the closet. Because the closet is about to be demoed.

For over a year now, we’ve been planning a remodel. At first, it was to be a modest kitchen remodel, family room add-on. But then we discovered that we couldn’t afford the family room add-on. So we decided to gain more space by working within the footprint of our existing house: our ceilings are incredibly dormered and by lifting them out, we can match the footprint of the first floor and therefore add a whole ‘nother bedroom and bathroom upstairs. A little creative thought by our architect and I get an office attached to the (new) master bedroom, over our front porch. Everyone’s happy, well, except Adam who really wanted that family room. Our plans were finished in December, and we were ready to go out to bid…

…when through an unfortunate event we inherited the EXACT amount it would take to add on a family room. So back to the drawing boards. Now, a zillion months later, we’re ready to begin. Actually, we were ready to begin last week, but the permitting process is holding us up.

In a nutshell, we refurbished our modest plans into a full scale revamping. We’ll be taking off the second floor to put on a new second floor. We’ll be remodeling the bathroom on the main floor. We’ll be redoing the kitchen. We’ll be adding on a family room with a playroom underneath it. We’ll be finishing off the basement. We’ll be paying off a mortgage that our great-grandchildren will most likely inherit.

Of course, with all this work, we need to move out of our house. Earlier this week, movers came to put about 70% of our belongings into storage. About 10% is in a storage unit we’ll have access to (things like winter clothes, Hanukkah necessities, and things we don’t need now but may need as the seasons change). And the rest is coming with us into, as Pie can tell you, “A teeny apartment!” We’re sleeping on mattresses as bed frames are in storage. We got a futon off of freecycle, as our normal sofa won’t fit into the apartment. We’re using an older TV that can’t be hooked up to a DVD player because Adam’s lovely, big-screen TV is not going to attempt the apartment move. Clothes are on the floor as dressers are in storage. The shelves in my office were given away so everything on them is on the desk and floor. You get the idea.

Work is going to be starting on the basement, so everything you see in that playroom used to be in our basement.

This is the basement before and after:

On Monday, we’ll be moving into the apartment. We lucked out and found one just a mile from our house, so things like spontaneous playdates and after-school activities won’t be interrupted.

The remodel is a good thing. Our heating system is horrible (baseboards downstairs and radiators upstairs so the downstairs broils while the upstairs is freezing), the floors are crooked, there are holes in my horsehair-plaster walls. Our kitchen is laid out so poorly that the fridge opens the wrong way but it can’t be switched because it’s too close to the wall. The kids are sharing a room (well, theoretically, as really they share with us), and they’ll reach a point where they want their own rooms. So it’s all a good thing.

But life has been in chaos, between birthdays and packing and freecycling (boy does that take a lot of work!) and getting ready for the start of school. I took the summer off of work (and it explains why blog posts have been light), but I’m going to resume work next week. And eating cupcakes. Lots and lots of cupcakes. So many cupcakes. And, honestly, they’re not really helping.

The Perfect Present!

August 26th, 2008 § Comments Off on The Perfect Present! § permalink

My mom found these while looking for gifts for Doodles. They should be on everyone’s “must have” lists:
a Lego set for Bush fans and a way to transport the folks at Guantanamo Bay.

Interview with a Three Year Old

August 25th, 2008 § Comments Off on Interview with a Three Year Old § permalink

Me: What’s today?
Pie: My birthday!
Me: How are you going to celebrate?
P: With Mommy. And Daddy.
Me: Actually, Daddy has to go to work.
P: Oh. Why? Why does he have to go to work?
Me: That’s how he earns a living.
P: Did Daddy go to work on Doodles birthday?
Me: Doodles birthday was on a Saturday. Today is Monday. Monday is a work day.
P: Monday’s a work day?
Me: Who else will you celebrate with?
P: I don’t know. I need you to tell me. Can you tell me, Mommy?
Me: Do you think you’ll celebrate with Doodles?
P: Yeah. With Doodles.
Me: Where are we going this morning?
P: We’re going to the… what? what? Can you tell me where we’re going? Oh! Can we take Jasmine’s car to the museum? When I see Jasmine can she say Happy Birthday to me?
ME: I’m sure she’ll say happy birthday to you.
P: Can Jasmine come to my actual birthday?
Me: So someone else is coming today?
P: So who is it?
Me: You just said!
P: Jasmine!!
Me: And where are we going?
P: To the museum. Can we go in Jasmine’s car so we can go to the museum?
Me: I’m afraid not.
P: But I want to.
Me: Her car’s not big enough. Plus, we might decide to take Jasmine with us even after her daddy has to go. Do you want to go out for lunch?
P: Yeah.
Me: How old are you?
P: Six and a half.
Me: Are you sure? If you’re six and a half, are you going into first grade?
P: Yes, I’m going into first grade and I’m six and a half.
Me: So you’re older than Doodles? ‘Cause he’s only five.
P: I’m older than Doodles.
Me: How old are you really?
P: Two and a half.
Me: But today’s your birthday. Let me see your fingers. How many fingers are you? Whoop! One more finger! How did you get to be three?
P: I don’t know.
Me: Where did you come from?
P: Mommy’s belly.
Me: What’s the best thing about three.
P: I like my ownself. And I like my presents. And I want kids to come to my actual birthday.
Me: You already had a big party. Today’s for us and Jasmine. What do you like to do?
P: Move, doing movement. Play with Jasmine! I like dress-up shoes.
Me: Anything else you’d like to say as a big three year old?
P: No.
Me: All done?
P: [nods]
Me: Happy Birthday, Sweetie.

Interview with a Five Year Old

August 23rd, 2008 § Comments Off on Interview with a Five Year Old § permalink

Me: So what’s today?
Doodles: Thursday?
Me: No, is there something special about today.
D: It’s my birthday?
Me: Is it?
D: Yes.
Me: How old are you, three?
D: No. Five.
Me: That’s pretty old.
D: What?
Me: How did you get to be five?
D: I got all through four.
Me: What’s different about five than four.
D: I can do different things.
Me: Like what?
D: I can do almost anything I want to.
Me: Can you cross the street by yourself?
D: Only our street.
Me: Can you drive a car?
D: No.
Me: Can you get a job?
D: No.
Me: So what can you do?
D: I already told you.
Me: What.
D: I can do almost anything I want to do! I can go to Starbucks whenever I want to. I can ride my bike whenever I want to.
Me: Anything else you can do?
D: I cannot drive a car. I can play sports.
Me: You’re so big now. Where did you come from?
D: Mommy’s belly.
Me: What’s your favorite thing to do these days.
D: I like to go ride my bike. I like swimming, hockey, and Legos.
Me: If you were a dinosaur, what kind of dinosaur would you be?
D: T Rex. Because he’s my favorite dinosaur.
Me: As a big five year old, is there anything else you’d like to tell my readers?
D: I like reading a little bit.
Me: And grand pronouncements for the world?
D: What?
Me: Big statements?
D: The world is starting to get new people.
Me: Is that it?
D: Yeah.
Me: Happy Birthday, Doodles.
D: Thanks for saying this interview!

Balls, I Say!

August 22nd, 2008 § Comments Off on Balls, I Say! § permalink

We were invited to Ball Night at the kids former daycare. It’s a fun night with food and lots of games. Unfortunately Doodles was sick. But the day started out looking like we could go, so we were chatting about it.

Me: We’re going to ball night.
Doodles: Yeah! I love ball night!
Pie: Cinderella went to a ball.
Me: Yes.
Pie: It’s like that?
Me: No, not quite like that.
Doodles: It’s games.
Pie: Oh. I like games, too.

About a half hour till we were to leave, Doodles spiked a fever. I plopped them in front of the TV and went to make dinner.

Me: What do you want for dinner?
Pie: Hot dogs at ball night!
Me: Sweetie, remember, we’re not going. Doodles’s sick.
Pie: Well, you and I can go! Doodles can stay home.

Ah, empathy in action!

Take a Chance on Her

August 16th, 2008 § Comments Off on Take a Chance on Her § permalink

Last Wednesday, Adam took Doodles to Fenway for a Red Sox game (as you can see from the picture below from last Wednesday). Pie really wanted to go, but Fenway can be a bit of a madhouse and we knew she wouldn’t last as long as Doodles could (he actually made it to the end of the sixth inning). So to do something special with her, I decided to take her to the movies. I know what you’re thinking. A little Fly Me to the Moon, perhaps? Space Chimps, maybe? Oh, no! you’re thinking. Not, not–gasp–Kit Kittredge: An American Girl!

No, of course not, people. What kind of a mother do you think I am? I took her to a much more sensible, appropriate film. We went to see Mamma Mia!. I’m not sure who checks into my diversions blog, but if you did you’ll see that Pie’s first movie experience a couple of months ago was a complete disaster. For the first 15 minutes of WALL-E she cried. For the next 20 minutes she sat with her head buried in my chest. For the rest of the movie, she slept. So it was with trepidation that we returned to the movies. I’ve already seen Mamma Mia! and while I wasn’t enthralled with it, I did think Pie would really enjoy the singing and dancing. Pie is at the perfect age for it–old enough to be able to sit through a whole movie, but young enough not to ask questions like “Why does she have three daddies? Why doesn’t she know which one her daddy is?”

I bought us a popcorn to share, stuck a booster seat next to me, and plopped Pie down. One of the previews looked a little scary, so I said to her, “I think you might not like this preview so I’m going to cover your eyes.” She absolutely let me and when I did it one more time later on, she had no complaints.

During the commercials in the beginning, this ad for Sprite came on. Pie was glued to the screen, and I don’t know what this means, but 14 seconds into the ad when the guy takes his shirt off, Pie whispered to me, “Mommy! I like this movie!” Maybe I should have covered her eyes for the ad.

Anyway, Pie, it turns out, is a big ABBA fan. She sat through the entire film. At one point, she began yawning, and I said, “Pie, when can leave whenever you want!” “NO!” she whispered back to me. She did move to sit on my lap, but other than that, her eyes never left the screen. I did a lot of check-ins. “Do you like it?” Vigorous nodding. “Are you ready to go?” Vigorous head shakes. At the end of the film, they have two more songs and Pie sat through both of them and was reluctant to leave when it was done. But she did and she’s been asking for “movie music” since then.

She doesn’t know the name of the movie (“I saw the dancing music movie!”) nor does she know what it’s about (“It had a wedding! That was my favorite part.) but she definitely she gave it a resounding thumbs up. What else would you expect from Pie! She’s a super trooper dancing queen if ever there was one.

  • Who I Am

    I read, I write, I occasionally look to make sure my kids aren't playing with matches.

    My novel, MODERN GIRLS will be coming out from NAL in the spring of 2016.

    I mostly update the writing blog these days, so find me over there.

    More about me and my writing.

  • Where to Find Me

    jenny at jennyandadam.com


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    Writing Blog: Jennifer S. Brown

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  • Archives

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  • Who I Am

    I read, I write, I occasionally look to make sure my kids aren't playing with matches.

    My novel, MODERN GIRLS will be coming out from NAL in the spring of 2016.

    I mostly update the writing blog these days, so find me over there.

    More about me and my writing.

  • Where to Find Me

    jenny at jennyandadam.com


    Instagram

    Follow Me on Pinterest

    Goodreads

    Writing Blog: Jennifer S. Brown

    Photo Blog: jPhone Jenny

  • Meta