the pieces of my life

Lunch

Still in gift wrap. Doing well, except that my feet are in agony, even with my good new shoes. Hoping we have no problems getting back to the Nugget tonight. I-80 going west of the Nugget was closed because of weather. It started snowing today, but as of when we got here, it didn’t seem to be sticking.

• I wish we had access to customer’s e-mail addresses so we could prevent them from making grave gifting errors. For instance, I’d like to get in touch with the guy who sent his mother and another female each a salad spinner. I’d like to write him and say, “Dude, I don’t even celebrate Christmas, but even I know that no one wants a salad spinner sitting under the tree. How about we swap this for some cool cds before your order goes out?”
  
• Lots of dads sending gifts to kids long distance. Some of the messages have been really sad.
  
• What’s the meaning behind this one. Gift card: “We’re all lying in the gutter…only some of us are looking at the stars.” Gift: two books on courtesans.
  
• Intrigued by the what-seems-to-be brother sending an educational toy to a kid under five (card reads: “I hope you don’t have this, but knowing Mom, you already do), and a violent video game to another brother with a card reading “U OWE ME!” I’m guessing the mother is going to love that one.

Break 1

• There’s a TV show on at 5:30 a.m. on Sundays called High School Sports of the Week. It was fascinating.
  
• Strange to see “Florida Caulder” in the Race & Sports room at the Nugget.
  
• What was I doing in the Race & Sports room at the Nugget? Why collecting my winnings for yesterday’s Dolphins game.
  
• Back in gift wrap. Favorite gift of the night. Card reads: “Can you believe what our other amigo has been up to?” Gift: A MInd of Its Own: The Cultural History of the Penis.
  
• Odd gift: A game, sent by someone in Germany to someone in Washington state called New York Chase. Can’t imagine we’re selling a whole lot of those right now.
  

Break 2

Mmmm, brownies for lunch. Saved mine, and while the brownie is a bit dry, I get to eat the frosting off of it for my snack.

My feet are starting to tire for the night. I’m at that part of the evening where I am not only talking to myself, but I’m talking to myself loudly enough that the locals are eyeing me funny.

We no longer use the turtle packs. At least, nowhere that I can see them.

I’m judging complete strangers from their orders. I decide if I’d want to be their friend or not. I’m particulary fond of people who either order lots of good looking cookbooks (they’re welcome to have me over for dinner) and people who have bought DVDs I’ve recommended on the site (if they’re listening to what I say, then of course I will like them). I have no respect for evil parents who only buy educational toys for their kids (c’mon, everyone deserves a Mike Wozeski toy this year), and I’m sick of Harry Potter, even though I’m finally reading book one and I’m surprised to say, I was wrong about it–I’m absolutely loving it and can’t wait to get back tonight to read more. I’m very curious about the person who ordered the Ben & Jerry’s dessert book, an ice cream cookbook, The Bathroom Book 1, and an ice cream scoop. What they hell do you suppose he/she was thinking?

Lunch

Foiled! Apparently I shoot too fast, and I got pulled from gift wrap to go back to Crisplant. And I was kicking in ass, too, in gift wrap. Most of the stuff coming down the chutes have been pretty mundane–lots of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings stuff. Not as much Monsters, Inc. for my taste. Only one spotting of books on anal pleasures for women to brighten the shift. But still, the feet are holding up, and it really doesn’t feel as bad. I think the after-shift swim and then eucalyptus bath helped a ton.

Break 1

Now gift wrap is moving.

• Favorite gift card at 8:17 p.m.: “A gift you can’t refuse” on The Godfather DVD set.
  
• My index finger is black and sticky from the tape.
  
• Most cliched gift card at 9:23 p.m.: “A gift you can’t refuse” on The Godfather DVD set.
  
• Someone bought 65 copies of The Cake Mix Doctor (which granted is a good book) to give as gifts.
  
• Ugly expensive shoes are indeed better than cheap cute ones.
  

Break 2

The barrage hasn’t started yet, so for now, I’m out of gift wrap and chuting on Crisplant. I think that night shift is actually easier than day. I’m more awake right now than I was at any point last year on the day shift. Two hours and fifteen more minutes tonight, and then only nine work days left. So far, cake.

Lunch break

Definitely a lot more information than last year. Here’s a sampling of what I’ve learned so far:

• A Neil Diamond concert is louder than an Oakridge Boys concert
  
• There’s such a thing as an inappropriate undergarment, but I’m not sure what that is
  
• Chiropractors are good, but they’ll want to you to keep coming back and back and back…
  
• 80% of all scalpings are fatal
  
• If a wedding ring is caught in a conveyer, it will pull the meat off your finger, but leave the bone
  
• Back braces are bad, unless you are laying sod
  

Starting work after lunch (which, again, is significantly better than last years). Somehow, still feel awake. Don’t feel like I’m getting sick, which is a DC first for me. Could actually live through this one (although not being sick means a greater risk of losing all my per diem at blackjack. I do understand about not hitting when the dealer is showing a bust card, but I never know what to do when she’s not and I’ve got something between a 12 and a 15. Must read that print out that Adam sent me).

Break 1

Feeling the need for sleep. Orientation is much more thorough this year, although it’s being held in a warm room. Head hurts a bit from either the hotel’s neon or the beers (let’s call it the neon, okay?). Night shift is definitely better from a food standpoint–there’s time to eat before the shift. Luckily, I’m sure I’ll be too tired at the end of tonight’s shift to hit the blackjack table again.

Sparks, Nevada Random thoughts for a random day:

• Not only had my bags marked for the special x-ray (again–happened last time I was in New York), but that also means I got an up-close and personal search when I boarded the plane, complete with hand metal-detector wand search and a complete unloading of my carry-on bag. I am just too lucky.
  
• So far, so good in the staying up late. I’d love to make it to 5 a.m., but I think I need to call it quits. I’ve already lost a bit (I won’t say how much) at black jack, but I will say the table kept me occupied for a good three hours. I figure when you factor in the free beers, I’m doing okay.
  
• My favorite sight tonight: the woman at the open mic night at the Great Basin Brewery who was holding a book entitled Step by Step to Stand-up Comedy. Unfortunately, the folks before her were too painful (or too bitter) to listen to.
  
• So much great story material here. I’ll have to work on it.
  
• How is it no substantial work is supposed to be getting done in the office, but i have over 200 e-mail messages in just over 36 hours. Pisses me off.
  
• Speaking of pisses me off, I’m so sure I psyched Adam out when I claimed I wasn’t feeling well and could we postpone our b-day celebration for him (since I will be gift wrapping in Fernley on his actual birthday of Dec. 8). I needed a way to get him to Ballard without suspecting. Yet, when we pulled into Le Gourmand, he said he knew where we had been heading. Between that and the present incident (he said three days before we were celebrating his birthday “you know, I think at one time I would have said I wanted a robe, but I really don’t think I do,” when I, of course, had been listening to what he had said, and had bought him a robe a month before that was hiding under our bed), I think I’m ready to wash my hands of his birthday (see what you get, Adam, for being a wise-ass?).
  
• I have the humidifier going, my personal soothing sounds alarm clock set up, all my food out and pretty, and still, I’m ready to be home. What will it be like when I start work tomorrow night?
  

Okay, can’t keep the eyes open any longer. Good night.