Being sick sucks. Being sick with a toddler who thinks the word “No” is hilarious is the tenth circle of hell. Doodles is so toddler now, it’s not even funny. Yesterday, as I lay on the couch moaning, Doodles was busy taking full advantage. I really don’t want to be a “No” mom. I don’t like rules and I don’t want to fill our days with me screeching. So Adam and I agreed that we only use “No” for safety issues and for other things we’ll distract, use other language, and just generally try to be pleasant.
Um, do you know how many safety hazards a child can get into even in a baby proofed room?
For starters there’s our stereo. We have it wrapped up in netting, which worked for about four months. But no longer. Adam and I know we need to buy an enclosed cabinet for our equipment, but in the meantime, it’s a definite “No,” because we’d strongly prefer it not fall on our child.
Then there’s the climbing/standing thing. Doodles has learned how to climb. On top of things (like his toys). Into things (like the bathtub). Over things (anything in his path). Which would be fine if it weren’t for the thing that comes after climbing: falling. Which he does frequently. And while I believe to a certain extent he just needs to fall to learn, the ulcer developing in my stomach can’t take too much of it. So climbing becomes a “No.”
And then there’s my safety. I hadn’t thought of this before, but my safety deserves “No”s too. Like when I think Doodles is cuddling so nicely on my stomach, blowing a few raspberries, making nice. And my eyes are drifting shut and all is good with the world. Until, of course, Doodles opens that little mouth of his and uses all nine of his teeth to chomp down with all his might on my exposed belly. Really can’t say “No” loud enough for that one.
And what does Doodles do each time I say “No?” He laughs. He laughs and laughs and laughs. With that contagious little grin of his, he just laughs. And no matter where I put him, what I try to distract him with, he finds his way back to whatever caused the “No” and he does it all over again.
On any other day, I’d whisk him outside and let him work out his aggressions. But I was just so tired and so congested. So I meekly yelled “No” from the sofa and then demanded Adam come home from work early.
And I think I want two of these creatures? Ha!
