Many, many years ago, I wrote the Tweedle Twirp a song. I can’t remember what the occasion was–perhaps there wasn’t one. One thing you need to know about Tweeds is she’s little. I mean little! She’s still the Littlest Brown even though she isn’t the youngest. She shops Old Navy boys department because the clothes are cheaper but they still fit. She is the skinnest little thang out there and for a while I was accusing her of bulemia (which I knew wasn’t true) because the kid can eat. No holds bar kind of eating. The put-it-away-but-it-doesn’t-go-anywhere kind of eating. Other thing you should know is that she speaks with her hand in front of her mouth half the time.
So I started singing her this song, sung to the tune of “I’m a Little Tea Pot”:
Short and thin
Here’s my dopey mannerism
Here’s my twin
If you see me eating
Don’t you shout!
Give me five more minutes
It’ll all come out
Funny right! I’m a real comedian. Only it all came back to bite me in the butt (I mean tushie). At a Waldorf play group last week, the kind, gray-haired, flowing dress leader led the group in “I’m a Little Teapot.” And I froze. Completely froze. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember a single line of the original song. I’m sitting on the floor with Doodles on my lap muttering “twin” “all come out” half under my breath.
Oh well, he doesn’t need to know every song out there.
