Doodles has been asking a lot of tough questions lately. About life. God. Sex. He asked me the other day:
Doodles: How do people get built?
Me: People aren’t built. They are born like animals are born.
Doodles: How do they get born?
Me: Mommies and daddies make children.
Doodles: And they go in the mommies’ bellies?
Me: Yep.
Doodles: And how do they get out?
Me [yes, I know I completely cheated here!]: Babies come out in different ways. When you and Pie were born, for instance, the doctors cut me open and took you out. See, here’s the scar.
Doodles: How do the babies get into the mommies?
Me: The daddies put them there.
Doodles: How?
Me: They give a special hug.
Doodles: A special hug?
Me: Yep, a special hug that only grown-ups do.
Doodles: How do they do it?
Me: By hugging?
Doodles: By hugging?
Me: Uh, yeah. [Then thinking is he going to worry about making babies when he hugs his friends?] But it’s a different kind of hug. A special hug. A, um, a naked hug.
Doodles: A naked hug!!
Me: Yes.
Doodles: A naked hug!!
Me: Yes.
Doodles [shaking his head]: You hug naked?
Me: Yes.
Doodles: But it’s only for grown-ups!
Me: Absolutely.
Doodles: Can I see?
Me: No.
Doodles: Oh. Does Daddy work in a skyscraper?
I sigh a sigh of relief and tell myself I’ll be prepared when this comes up again (these topics come up every two weeks, each time with more questions), but I never am.
I have to remember to not read you while brushing my teeth. I almost snorted toothpaste thru my nose.