We’re back to zombieland. The Pie is up at night, she’s up in the morning, she’s wailing, she’s yelling everyone’s name trying to find some sucker to rescue her. She’s put us all in the land of the walking dead and, frankly, I’m a little cranky about it.
Pie is also speaking up a storm. She will stand there and speak in 43 word sentences. Unfortunately only every 29 1/2 words is an actual word I can understand so we end up with some very odd conversations with her looking at me expectantly waiting for an answer:
Pie: og reg mel pofgot wereer lom bol quack quack.
Me: You want to going bowling with a duck?
Pie: No. kaj ew lioop toxk wash wogart.
Me: You want to wash in yogurt?
And of course, Doodles has a firm grasp of conversation but not so much of numbers:
Me: Whose birthday is it tomorrow?
Doodles: I don’t know. Um. Peter.
Me: Yep!
Doodles: Are we invited to his birthday party?
Me: We are, but it’s too far away for us to go.
Doodles: Why?
Me: Because his party is in Florida and we live in Massachusetts.
Doodles: Oh.
Me: We can have our own party. A parallel party. What should we have for Peter’s birthday dinner?
Doodles: Coffee!!!
Me: That’s a good idea because Peter loooooovvvvves coffee!
Doodles: Me too!
Me: You know you’re not allowed to have coffee until you’re twelve!
Doodles: I know. Is Peter going to be 12?
Me: Peter is going to be 67.
Doodles: So he can’t have coffee, either?
Me: 67 comes after 12 so he can have coffee.
Doodles: 67 is after 12?
Me: Yes.
Doodles: Peter was 12 and then he was 67?
Me: Yes.
Doodles: Oh. I want coffee.
Me: Yeah, me, too.
I have found that during Pie’s naptime I can sneak in a nap if I let Doodles brush his teeth. I found a stepstool tall enough for him to reach the bathroom sink by himself (we’re a very short family). The dentist told him he has to practice spitting out because apparently by age four, kids are supposed to be using toothpaste with fluoride. I still have children who like to put toothpaste on the brush and suck it all off. So Doodles will stand there for a good 45 minutes, putting on paste, sucking it off, taking some water in, and dribbling it down his front. And the best part is… it’s fully allowed!
I am so tired. I feel a toothbrushing coming on….
Amusingly, I can get a nap if I let my son wash his hands in the sink. He’ll just play there for a good half-hour most days.