Pie is having a problem with her butt. Excuse, not her butt. Your butt. Your anus, to be precise. “It’s pronounced Yur-uh-ness!” she screeches from across the house. Whatever. Planets were chosen while we were on vacation, so Pie was assigned hers. Yur-uh-ness. Models must be made. The ring of Yur-uh-ness isn’t staying up well […]
Tag Archives: doodles
Me: I slept oddly. And I had a dream that we got a divorce. Husband: Huh. Well, good thing you didn’t dream about your teeth falling out. That would be really bad. Me: What?! Husband: Isn’t it supposed to be bad to dream about teeth falling out? Me: As opposed to our divorce? Pie: Are […]
Can’t speak of this, because the phones might be tapped. I suspect this blog is being monitored. All I know is we’re in Miami Beach, and corruption is afoot. Miami is well known for corruption. And I could tell stories about the strange things I’ve seen here as a kid (and, as a matter of […]
Note to self: If someone asks, “It there a temperature that’s too cold for you to run?” the answer is not “I’ll run in anything!” but “Screw the run! I’m taking a bubble bath!” Actually the running part is fine. Is the after-run part. Running in “12 degrees, feels like 2″ is actually fairly invigorating. […]
The boy: Why do you have a thing on your bulletin board that says, “God bless you. Stay strong. Kick it. Billy Blanks”? Me: When I was at Amazon, I used to interview people for the Web site. Billy Blanks had a series of workout videos called Tae-Bo that I really liked. When I interviewed […]
Hungry, desperate furloughed-government officials came knocking on the door this afternoon. The only thing that I had that would cheer them up was a Charleston Chew bar of my daughter. I sent them on their way with the chocolate and that, my dear daughter, is why your candy bar is missing. There is no other […]
Q: How many servings of candy corn are there in a nine-serving bag of Brach’s candy corn? Sorry, that was a trick question. Because all of you, knowing me, would answer, “One.” But I’m PMSing, which means it’s really only about 3/4th of a serving. But what to do what that needed additional 1/4th? How […]
I asked my son to read me the weather report but he said he couldn’t. What exactly is he learning in that school of his?
Minke whale and puffin on the menu Gullfoss Waterfall Helicopters over Reykjavik Toto, I don’t think we’re in Boston anymore! Hello, Iceland!