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Tag Archives: doodles

The Post in Which I Go Just a Little Too Far

Before we begin, let me say this is a TMI post. If you don’t want to know that much about us, then just mosey along. Still here? Okay. I’m hesitant to write half of the conversations in this house, because while I find my children amusing 1) I’m not sure others will and 2) the […]

Interview with an 11 Year Old

Me: What’s today? 11 year old: My birthday. August 23, 2014. Me: How do you know it’s your birthday? 11 year old: Well I know that yesterday was August 22 and tomorrow is August 24, and according to my parents I was born on August 23, and because we are in between August 22 and […]

The Dangers of E-mail

In our house, the children were capable of earning e-mail once they were in third grade. The thinking is, if they are old enough to attend Hebrew school three days a week, they are old enough to earn the privilege of e-mail. The requirement to get the account is the child must demonstrate the ability […]

What I Have to Deal With*

*Yes, I know, that should read “With What I Have to Deal,” but I’m taking poetic license here because it just sounds too snooty the proper way and I’m going to be writing a snooty post as it is. First, though, I’d like to ask why, given my love of baking and my fondness for […]

What’s Goin’ On*

*You must be humming Marvin Gaye while reading that, please. Tell me what’s going on I’ll tell you ya, what’s going on My to-do list is a mile long, and while I’ve accomplished a lot, none of it has actually been on my list, so my new to-do on my to-do list is to add […]

The Joys of Children

Pie is having a problem with her butt. Excuse, not her butt. Your butt. Your anus, to be precise. “It’s pronounced Yur-uh-ness!” she screeches from across the house. Whatever. Planets were chosen while we were on vacation, so Pie was assigned hers. Yur-uh-ness. Models must be made. The ring of Yur-uh-ness isn’t staying up well […]

Mornings in Our House

Me: I slept oddly. And I had a dream that we got a divorce. Husband: Huh. Well, good thing you didn’t dream about your teeth falling out. That would be really bad. Me: What?! Husband: Isn’t it supposed to be bad to dream about teeth falling out? Me: As opposed to our divorce? Pie: Are […]

Absolute Corruption

Can’t speak of this, because the phones might be tapped. I suspect this blog is being monitored. All I know is we’re in Miami Beach, and corruption is afoot. Miami is well known for corruption. And I could tell stories about the strange things I’ve seen here as a kid (and, as a matter of […]

My Life: Cold, Peeps, and Butts

Note to self: If someone asks, “It there a temperature that’s too cold for you to run?” the answer is not “I’ll run in anything!” but “Screw the run! I’m taking a bubble bath!” Actually the running part is fine. Is the after-run part. Running in “12 degrees, feels like 2″ is actually fairly invigorating. […]

How Old Do You Think I Am?

The boy: Why do you have a thing on your bulletin board that says, “God bless you. Stay strong. Kick it. Billy Blanks”? Me: When I was at Amazon, I used to interview people for the Web site. Billy Blanks had a series of workout videos called Tae-Bo that I really liked. When I interviewed […]