One of the most annoying things about having a mixed marriage is that in a hotly contested election, like say the Martha Coakley vs. Scott Brown for the Massachusetts Senate seat, we get twice the phone calls. As a registered Democrat, I've received calls from Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and of course, Martha Coakley. As a registered Republican, Adam's heard from a different crowd. I love checking the messages and being able to say, "Sweetie, it's for you. It's the pro-lifers." He's heard from the pro-lifers, Scott Brown, and the Catholics.

Adam ran out early this morning to cast his vote. Since the voting is at Doodles's school, I offered that I could go early so Doodles and Pie could come with me to "cancel out Daddy's vote." Which led to a discussion of what is a Democrat and what is a Republican.

Have you ever tried to explain a topic like that and remain unbiased and neutral? I don't think it can be done. I started out with some reasonable basics. "Well, the Republicans believe that government should be smaller, with people taking more responsibility for things. The Democrats believe the government should do more for people." Which of course is just generic enough to not explain anything. Adam came home from voting as I was trying to explain. "You know how we have a nice home and--even if you don't like the food I offer you, we have plenty of food to eat? Well, if we couldn't afford food, we could get something called food stamps, which are given to people by the government so no one has to go hungry. Food stamps are like coupons that people without enough money can exchange for food. But someone has to pay for that. So we pay taxes. We pay on taxes on our house, on the money we make, on the things we buy. And those taxes pay for things like food stamps. The Democrats believe we should pay more taxes to help more people. And the Republicans..." And this is where I flounder. Do I say, "let people starve" or "think only rich people should eat"?

I start again. "So, the Democrats like to help people..." Adam bursts out laughing. This isn't really the unbiased explanation I'm going for. I laugh, too, and tell Adam, "Screw this!"

So as we're getting on our winter clothes to head for the school to vote, I simply say to Doodles, "If Harry Potter were an American citizen, he'd be a Democrat."

End of conversation. Take that Scott Brown.

Labels: politics

We subscribe to The Week magazine, and this week's came today, with a picture of Obama and Karzai on the cover, emblazoned with the headline "Shotgun wedding."

With nary a stumble, the boy took a look at it. "What's a shotgun wedding?"

I started up with a brilliant move. "Um.... Um.... Um.... What?"

Doodles: "What's a shotgun wedding?"

Me: "Um. It's... Well... Um..."

Doodles: "Yes?"

Me: "You know how today all sorts of people have babies? Women by themselves, two women, two men?"

Doodles: "Yeah."

Me: "Well, it was different in the old days. In the old days, there was this idea that if a woman got pregnant without being married, that it was a bad thing. So if a woman got pregnant and she wasn't married, the idea goes, the woman's dad would make the man who got the woman pregnant marry her. It was like he took a shotgun and pointed it to the guy and said, 'Marry my daughter or I'll shoot you.' That's a shotgun wedding."

Doodles: "Well, what if there wasn't a guy? What if she had just gone to the sperm bank?"

Me: "Um, that's a good point."

Doodles: "And I don't understand what that has to do with Obama! Why is Obama going to have a shotgun wedding to that guy?"

Me: "Well, it means that he's being forced into a relationship he may not want with that guy, Karzai, the president of Afghanistan."

Doodles, thinks a moment. "So why is Obama having a wedding?"

To which I give the age-old response: "Who wants dinner?" And I hid the magazine.

Labels: doodles, politics

Me: Dude! I win! You lose!
Adam: What did you win?
Me, making a toking motion.
Adam: Good for you.
Me: Decriminalization of small amounts of pot won, there's still an income tax, and no more dog racing.
Adam: Not surprising.
Me: Oh, and Kerry won again.
Adam: There's a shocker.
Me: I assume you voted against him?
Adam: [making a phish noise]: Duh.
Me: Do you know who the other guy is?
Adam: Nope. Not a clue.
Me: Why do you hate him so much?
Adam: Every time I think I could be a Democrat--you know, one of those Reagen Democrats--John Kerry and Barney Frank remind me of everything I hate about the Democratic party.

But he voted for Obama. Pie and Doodles were there and saw it. Either that or the chocolate chip cookie Adam bought for them at the PTO bake sale worked as a bribe to keep their mouths shut.

Labels: politics

Me, pulling out "The Official Massachusetts Information for Voters" guide: I have no idea what else I'm voting for.
[Note, for those of you not on Facebook, Adam and I have moved our dispute over there, and he wrote: "actually, I'll just come out and say it- I'm voting for Obama. Reluctantly, but he's the better of the two choices."]
Adam: What else is there?
Me: Well, I know I'm voting no on question 1, which eliminates personal income tax.
Adam: Isn't prop 2 about marijuana?
Me: Um [flipping pages]. Yeah, it is.
Adam: How are you voting on it.
Me, scanning the copy: I'm voting yes. ["A Yes vote would replace the criminal penalties for possession of one ounce or less of marijuana with a new system of civil penalties."]
Adam: I'm absolutely voting no.
Me: Really?
Adam: Yes! That's like an invitation to drug dealers. "Go ahead! Sell an ounce of pot to anyone you like!"
Me: So when they come to cart me away, you'll just be like, "Tough shit?"
Adam: Pretty much.

Just when I thought we'd finally come to terms politically in this household....

Labels: politics

I know this video pisses Adam off, but I don't care. I found it powerful. Remember to vote tomorrow, no matter who you're voting for.

Labels: politics

I noticed a bunch of kids wearing "I voted" stickers today at kindergarten pick up today.

Me: Did you vote, Doodles?
Doodles: Yes!
Me: You didn't get a sticker?
Doodles: I put it on my notebook.
Me: Ah. Is it a secret or will you tell me who you voted for?
Doodles: I'll tell you.
Me: Who did you vote for?
Doodles: John McCain.
Me: And how did you decide on him?
Doodles: I liked what he promised.
Me: What did he promise?
Doodles: He promised to pay for college.
Me: Ah.
Doodles: But my guy didn't win.
Me: No?
Doodles: Barack Obama won.
Me: Oh.
Doodles: When they announced the winner, I said, "Awwww," because my guy didn't win.
Me: You must be disappointed.
Pie: You voted for John McCain?
Doodles: Yes. And when he's president, he's going to keep his promise, because presidents always keep promises.

Labels: doodles, politics

Kate Feiffer visited Doodles's school today to read from her book President Pennybaker. There's been talk of the election and as part of the day, apparently an election was held. I didn't know about this, until I noticed late in the day that Doodles was wearing an "I Voted" sticker.

Me: You voted today?
Doodles: Yep.
Me: Who did you vote for?
Doodles [with no hesitation]: You!
Me: You voted for me?
Doodles: Yeah!
Me: Who were your choices?
Doodles: Um, our choices were, um, Bar-ick O-bama. And, um... Um...
Me: John McCain?
Doodles: Yes! John McCain! And Your Mommy. And Your Daddy.
Me: So you voted for me?
Doodles: Yeah!
Me: Aw, that's sweet.
Doodles: There was a line to write in another name. I was going to vote for me, write my own name in. But I decided to vote for you.
Me: Why?
Doodles: I dunno.
Adam: What is it that Mommy supports that you agree with?
Doodles: I dunno. I just voted for her.

And with that, Doodles proves himself to be a true blue American. No idea what he's voting for. Just going with the popular vote. And you? Do I have your support? I make no promises....

Labels: doodles, politics

For the record, my parents are Democrats. So maybe I should just send this to Adam's family:

Labels: politics

I so rarely write anything political in this blog, but this was the best political push I've ever seen. Note, not really suitable for viewing at work.

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

Labels: politics

That girl, that girl. Oy is she trying to prove to me that she's her father's daughter.

For his birthday, Doodles got Monopoly Jr. I have to say, it's a great intro to Monopoly and not a bad game at all. Doodles caught on quite quickly. Pie? Well, Pie likes to play by her own rules.

Me: Okay, Pie, you have to pay the bank $3.
Pie: $3?
Me: Yes.
Pie: I don't want to.
Me: But, Sweetie, that's how the game is played.
After a bit of cajoling...
Pie: Okay. But you have to give it back to me later, okay?

We're playing for a bit.
Me: Okay, Pie, you have to pay Doodles $4.
Pie: No.
Me: That's the way the game is played. You can give him one green and one white bill or you can give him two yellow bills.
Pie: No.
Me: Sweetie, these are the rules of the game. You have to give him two of the pieces of paper.
Pie, finally relenting: I'll give him one. But he has to give it back to me later.

The next day in the car, I was listening to NPR. NPR, for God's sakes! And my daughter? What does she pick up on? I hear a song emerging from the back seat, a lovely little tune with a simple set of words: "John McCain. John McCain. John McCain. John McCain. John McCain. John McCain. John McCain. John McCain. John McCain. John McCain." For an entire twenty minute car ride.

I guess I was wrong. Dartmouth, here she comes.

Labels: pie, politics, republican