To get your brain jump started on today, the first day of 2010, I have a math problem for you:

On December 31, 2009, Pie woke up at 5:43 a.m. She immediately began whining. On this same day, Doodles woke up at 6:03 a.m. Both children spent the day swimming, running laps through the apartment, and asking, "Is it time to go to the party yet?" At 6:32 p.m., the two children departed with their parents for a New Year's Eve party. At 7:23 p.m., Pie announced she was too tired. She ate six out of eight pieces of an avocado roll, clung to the leg of her father as if it were a life raft, and fell asleep on a couch in the middle of the room at 8:07 p.m.

Doodles eats no dinner, but consumes one cup of caramel popcorn at 8:27 while watching Spongebob Squarepants with T. Rex, Pad, and Elf Girl. At 9:02 he eats three coins of Hanukkah gelt. Doodles opens five presents, including "Draggy," which he totes around for the rest of the night. At 11:48 p.m. Pie rejoins the awake world, opens presents, and walks around dazed.

Meanwhile, Adam consumes two beers, I drink three beers, two glasses of white wine, and a glass of champagne. Adam is a semi-loser in the Yankee swap (a Reflexology set), while I came out pretty darn sweetly (a set of Restoration Hardware shot glasses).

At midnight, the entire Brown-Medros clan, including senior Brown members--the Nana and the Peter--toast in the New Year. At 12:29 a.m., we drag an unhappy Doodles out of the party and a willing to go home Pie. Both children fall asleep in the car at 12:46 a.m.

At 6:03 a.m.--mere hours later--Pie awakes. At 6:34 a.m., Doodles awaken.

Here are your questions:
1) How long till Pie loses the shoes and tiara from her new Arielle doll?
2) How many Honey-Nut Cheerios can Draggy eat?
3) At what time will Doodles find himself seasick on Ollie's boat?
4) How many cafe con leches will it take for my eyes to a) pry open and b) remain open
5) At what time will I abandon cafe con leches for beer?

Bonus points if you can tell me what time the melt-down will happen when Doodles and Pie realize that T. Rex and Pad leave early, early, early tomorrow to go back to their home.

Labels: holiday, Miami Beach

We survived the trip down. Somehow. It started with Adam insisting we needed to leave at 8 for our 11:10 flight, which seemed ridiculously early to me, but I figured he knew what he was talking about. So I woke up before 6 a.m. to finish packing and get the house cleaned, and sure enough at 8, he said, "Oh, wait. We leave at 11:10! I was off on my math. We don't need to leave for another hour." And then we left, all packed up and ready to go... except for all of Adam's New Year's cards, which he left sitting on a shelf. We had to call Beetle to let herself into our house to get the cards to mail. Then the friends we were traveling with had a very sick (read: pukey) daughter who decided to brave the trip anyway. And when we got down here, I realized I forgot something that was crucial to a promised activity for Doodles. And then tonight at bedtime, Pie decided to completely rebel. I mean totally. Wouldn't go to bed. Not at all. I was ready to throttle her. She was whining and crying and pouting and nowhere near her bed, so I did the only reasonable thing possible.

I left. And got ice cream. Because that's the main benefit of being in Miami Beach, having the Nana to take care of the Pie when she's out of control. While Pie screamed and fussed, Adam and I took a leisurely stroll down to Lincoln Road where we stopped into the Frieze for ice cream. Looking around Lincoln Road, you would have no idea it was Christmas. Folks were out en masse. Stores were open. The movies were sold out. Now, you're probably thinking, "Well it's because Miami Beach is full of Jews who don't celebrate Christmas," but you'd be completely wrong. The Jewish population of Miami Beach has completely dwindled, and besides, it is Shabbat, which means anyone who is actually an observant Jew is home with family. Miami Beach is now predominantly Latin American, and most of those folks like them some Baby Jesus. So I have no idea what so many folks were doing out tonight, drinking martinis, letting their way-too-young kids wreak havoc, and eating dinners at an absurdly late hour. "Do they know it's Christmas time at all?"

Labels: holiday, Miami Beach, pie

We all react to the snow in different ways. While a Sunday snow day is not a terrible thing, I was a bit disappointed because I had been looking forward to a few weekend activities that had to be reshuffled. The Tweedle Twirp was going to come visit, but that got canceled, which also means we were no shows at our monthly game night last night since we were suddenly babysitter-less. Doodles had a cub scout event today that I thought was going to be fun and interesting.

But my kids? My kids are thrilled. Doodles spent the entire day in his pajamas, playing with new Hanukkah presents. When I went out to shovel, Pie eagerly came along, and did "modern dance in the snow." She shoveled for a minute or two with me, and then promptly went across the street to help Tab shovel her walk.

Me, I've used the day to write about a zillion holiday cards (and yet, I'm still not done!). My apologies to those whose last names begin after the letter L; my handwriting completely deteriorated by that point. I also packaged the last of the boxes to be mailed and doing a little last holiday baking (well, not quite last, but I can dream). I also decided to take down the Hanukkah decorations. A little odd, considering most of the country is still putting up their decorations, but our holiday is over and I never like those things to linger. I left up all the lights and holiday cards, but the menorahs, the dreidel pictures, the Little People Hanukkah toy, the menorah tidbit tray, and all the little Hanukkah knickknacks returned to that great storage in the attic. The kids have spent the entire afternoon glued to the TV, which once in a while, is fine by me (Doodles said, "It's like when we have a fever and we can watch all we want!"). Yesterday was a hectic day--hockey and then to a friends to make ornaments for her tree and then my in-laws came to celebrate Hanukkah with us. So a rest day is well deserved.

Santa was at hockey, and both my kids wanted to meet him. Santa made chit chat with Doodles first. Asked if he'd been a good boy. If he'll keep being a good boy. Told him that he (Santa) also ice skated up at the North Pole. And then he asked Doodles what he wanted for Christmas. Doodles merely said, "We don't celebrate Christmas." No elaboration. I think he threw Santa for a loop, but Santa finally realized what was going on and said, "That's fine!" By the time Pie got off the ice to meet him, Santa was a little more prepared for her response.

The one unfortunate about the snow is that it cleared up enough for Adam to be able to get out to head to the airport. He's off to London for a few days, which always makes me sad. Hanukkah over; the short, dark days; the oppression of the snow; Adam's trip overseas--this time of year always conspires to make me blue.

But soon enough it will be Christmas, which is a very special day in our house, because that is the day that Santa brings us sun. One of the best parts of being Jewish is being able to fly out on Christmas day for warmer climes.

So now, I just need to plug through the next few days. The light at the end of the tunnel is spa day. I just need to focus on spa day.... Ahhhhh....

Labels: holiday, snow

If you're wondering where your holiday card is, it's right here because I'm supposed to be writing them right now, but instead, here I am on my blog. Oh well! I'm not excited about this year's cards because Adam was in charge of proofreading and I should know better than to let an MBA proofread; MBAs think "attriting" is a real word and that they can "talk around issues." So, yes, there's a typo on the card and it's way too late for me to put in an asterisks that reads, "Proofread by Adam."

Life has felt busy lately so I'm just now starting on my holiday baking and I have to say, I'm most excited by the-- Oops! I think some of the people I give my goodies to are reading this blog so I won't spill this year's concoctions.

Hanukkah so far has been fun, but it's a bit overwhelming for the kids who have too much sugar, not enough sleep, and total present overload. I've made and eaten more latkes than anyone has a right to. I made them Friday in Doodles's class, Friday night for our Hanukkah/Shabbat dinner, Sunday for our annual Hanukkah party, and Monday in Pie's class. I'm oozing oil out of my pores and it's downright gross. I'm actually craving vegetables. Of course, as the family cook, I could make vegetables, but that seems like actual work so I'll stick with the oily foods for now. And the sugar. Can't forget the sugar.

My holiday shopping has been done for a while now, except that my local B. Dalton's is going out of business so I've spent two days now scouring its racks for 40% off books (plus my B&N membership discount). I've got presents for the kids for the next three years (seriously--Beetle was in the store with me, and as her kids are 6 and 9, she showed me books Doodles and Pie will like in a couple of years).

I'm off now to get my son, then my daughter, and then off for a coveted H1N1 flu shot for the little one (the big one got his in school). And if I were you, I'd be seriously hoping your one my goodie list. Because these things look pretty good!

Labels: holiday

Tonight begins eight days and nights of greasy, oily skin... I mean Hanukkah! Hanukkah officially began about two hours ago, and I've already had latkes three times this season. Ugh. Today I went into Doodles's class to make latkes, but first I had to experiment and make them last week, because--due to allergies--I needed to make egg-free latkes. I did. It was brilliant. And I couldn't let the first night of Hanukkah slip by without more oily disks of fat. Mmmm, oily disks of fat!

I'm happy that Pie was pleased with her gift tonight. I had my concerns after listening to her talk to my father on the phone. Pie asked for an American Girl doll for Hanukkah, specifically "the Jewish one." I passed the request on to one of her grandparents, and I'm sure she'll be thrilled with the results. But in the meantime, I had a hand-me-down American Girl doll and a stroller for her that I wrapped up. She felt it yesterday before I could yell at her to get her grubby little paws off the gifts. And today, when she was talking with Peter, she said with great excitement, "We get to open presents tonight. I'm pretty sure there's a stroller in one of them! So that's mean we'll be getting a baby!"

Did anyone else just throw up a little bit? Anyway, she was thrilled with her doll, and the kids loved the gifts they got from the Tweedle Twirp. I'm preparing for our annual Hanukkah party (which Pie has apparently mentioned to everyone at school, regardless of whether or not they were invited, making for some lovely, comfortable discussions...Not).

Now it's time for little people to go to bed and for me to clean the oil off the kitchen walls... although what's the point? I guess I can just leave it there till Hanukkah's over. Back to baking, gotta get the holiday cards written, and bask in the peace of the season. "GET YOUR PJS ON ALREADY AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH!" Oh, sorry. I wasn't talking to you.

Happy Hanukkah!

Labels: holiday, pie

Conversation with the Tweedle Twirp and her pregnant friend, kids playing nearby.
Me: And so then I got dressed for the party [my grandfather's 90th birthday party in Miami in July]. I was eight months pregnant and something just didn't look right. I called the Tweedle Twirp in and said, "What is wrong with this outfit? The shoes look all wrong. I've been wearing them for a year now and they looked fine. Why do they look so weird now?" Tweedles evaluated me for a good long while before she finally said, "Well, they looked better when you still had ankles." "Ankles!" I said. "That's it!"
The next night, I overheard Doodles talking to his friend J.
Doodles: Did you know that when women get pregnant, they lose their ankles?

*****

Pie: Mommy, how does Chrysanthemum know who's Christian and who's not?
Me: Chrysanthemum?
Pie: Yeah. How does Chrysanthemum know who to bring presents to?
Me: Like in the book?
Pie: Yeah.
Me: The mouse? Who doesn't like her name?
Pie: Um, I guess.
Me: Do you mean Santa Claus?
Pie: Yes! How does Santathemum Claus know who's Christian and who's not?
Me: Remember I told you, Santa Claus isn't real. Mommies and Daddies buy presents for the kids. Santa is made up, but it's not something we talk about with our non-Jewish friends. Santa isn't real.
Pie: I know!
Me: Okay.
Pie: So how does he know? Who's Christian and who's not?

Labels: doodles, holiday, pie

Speaking of holiday projects, I make these ornament gift tags for my non-Jewish friends; I'm trying to think what I could do with them so I could give them to Jewish friends. Someone suggested putting a magnet on them, but I'm not sure that would work well. Any ideas? I can't show you the cutest one, because it's for someone who might read this blog (I really have no idea who reads this blog anymore, but better safe than sorry).

Labels: crafts, holiday

Our weekend of butter winds down as we prepare for a week of oil.

Dust covers the floor of the basement exercise room. A set of tools is in the middle of the upstairs bathroom. A flashlight is lying on the bedroom floor. A random set of shelves is in the hallway. Lumber is scattered everywhere. Storm doors are leaning against the exercise equipment. Doodles is randomly running from room to room carrying odd tools. Yes, that's right. Adam's gone handy on us. He's decided to not only tackle the to-do list, but to expand on it. And the best thing one can do at this time is just stand out of the way. So far both the bathroom sinks no longer leak. The storm doors have been painted, as has the upstairs linen closet door. A new workbench is sitting in the utility closet. He's currently off to the hardware store for more provisions.

And me? I'm just compounding the mess, with boxes of Hanukkah decorations waiting to be put up. Piles of presents that need to be wrapped. Half-done craft projects litter the house, waiting to be finished (oh, sewing machine! How much longer till you return from the great repair shop in Somerville?) Basically, our house is a minefield of ribbons, needles, and nails. Enter at your own risk.

I'm sorry that Thanksgiving weekend is coming to an end. It's my favorite weekend of the year. Don't get me wrong--I'm an absolute sucker for the Hanukkah/Christmas/New Year's season. I'm starting to work on the holiday cards. I'm figuring out fun craft projects for the kids to do at our Hanukkah party. I'm planning menus. Spending too much money. Getting out my Martha.

But there's something about the coziness of Thanksgiving weekend--just hanging out, watching too much TV, reading books (we made an emergency run to Barnes & Noble yesterday for its last copy of Pippi on Board; we finished the first Pippi and Doodles couldn't wait to start the next one), playing games. Nice and mellow. We had friends over for brunch on Friday morning. Friday night was a lovely Shabbat at Jasmine's house. Saturday was hockey, the B&N run, and then an evening watching Up (which I loved! It was a little intense for the kids, but Doodles managed nicely and seemed to like it; too many late nights for Pie had her asleep about 2/3 of the way through it). Today has been the getting things done day. I love the feel of this long weekend. I love the food, the parade on TV, the chill in the air. I love an excuse to make hot chocolate and popcorn. But alas, it's just about over. Now I'll put up those Hanukkah decorations and move on to holiday projects.

And I'll console myself that Thanksgiving will be back again next year. I already can't wait!

Labels: holiday

Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. I love turkey and pumpkins and cranberry sauce. I love having a holiday that I celebrate the same as everyone else. I love the holiday cheer and the start of the full-fledged holiday season. I love the parade and the fall weather. I love Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving also brings out the difference in my kids. Pie was so excited about her preschool's Thanksgiving feast. She insisted on wearing her summery party dress. I volunteered to come in to help out, and she said to me as we were leaving, "Maybe you should put on some lipstick." For what it's worth, I didn't. She loved the feast--the stone soup, the pumpkin bread, the apple crisp. Pie made a card at school for us. It read, "I'm thankful for Momma, Daddy, Doodles, and me!"

Doodles did not want to go to school. Not today nor yesterday. In fact he got downright upset about it. I couldn't figure it out. His class was doing a little "reader's theater" and he'd been practicing his lines for two weeks now ("I am a Native American bold. About me, many tales are told. I taught the pilgrims to plant and fish. Our three-day meal was delish!"). Turns out, he was completely stressed out by the idea of cranberries. The first graders were going to be making cranberry relish and doing activities with cranberries, and he despises cranberries. Not that he's ever had one. But he throws up at the smell of blueberries and strawberries, so I was willing to back him up on this. So I spoke to his teacher and he was excused from all fruit activities. And he was happy. Doodles also did a worksheet on which he had to draw pictures of what he was thankful for. Can you guess? I didn't think so. "My toys. My circuit boards. My inventions."

My cooking for the night is done. My in-laws are at friends in Nantucket, my brother-in-law and his wife are in Belize, my parents are in Miami for Art Basel, so it's a small affair. We have friends coming over and my sister is here, so it's a mere party of ten, which is just perfect. Although I keep trying to add more dishes to the menu, only to be reminded that we don't need more food on the menu.

Desserts are made. My pumpkin cake is cooling. Pumpkin made with fresh pumpkin, mind you. None of this canned stuff for us. My pilgrim hats are chilling in the fridge. (When I explained to my sister what I was making, she said, "Wow, when you decided to not be Mom, you really took it to an extreme.")

Tweedle Twirp made the apple pie.

This year we decided to brine the turkey. I don't eat much meat, so I definitely have a little guilt over the turkey. It looks so... turkey-ish. I told the turkey it was at the turkey spa, getting a special herbal bath.

We then put the turkey in an isolation chamber for a soothing night of introspection. It's also the only place in the house with the proper temperature for a turkey in a ziplock in a cooler: The old entrance to the basement, unheated, cold, and just right. Originally I said to just leave it out on the side steps, but that was quickly nixed when Adam told me that my little cooler wouldn't keep out the neighborhood raccoons and coyote.

What else have we done? I've spiced the pecans for the salad. The bread is on the counter drying out for stuffing. I made the crescent dough. The once-a-year crescent rolls that are made of butter. And a touch of flour. But really, butter. Mmmm, butter. Apple cider is in the fridge. I have all the stuff for kids' appetizers and grown-up appetizers. Tomorrow I make the thyme rolls, the sweet potatoes with marshmallow topping, the stuffing. Toss together the salad. Obviously I need to roast the turkey and prepare the gravy. Our friends are bringing the cranberry sauce and the green beans. A complete meal! Of which Pie will eat the potatoes and Doodles will eat the turkey.

In the morning I hope to make muffins with more of my fresh pumpkin puree, but I do have a Turkey Trot to run, so I'm not sure I'll have the time. Ah, Thanksgiving. Have I mentioned I love Thanksgiving?

Labels: holiday

What happens when you make apple muffins in the shape of pumpkins? You confuse the hell out of six-year-old boys.

Halloween is not my favorite holiday. My childhood memories are not to be relied upon, but I remember it feeling very stressful, this whole dressing up. It always seemed to be some last minute scramble and I'd end up as a ghost (with the entire face cut out so I could see) or a gypsy, anything that could be made from things we already had in the house.

As an adult, I haven't been able to embrace it. Dressing up in costume just bores me. I mean, it's not any different than regular dressing up and I hate that too.

This year, though, I decided to embrace a different aspect of it. I do like decorating the house. And I like cooking. So this year, we had a couple of kids over for dinner, and for them I made fingers (mozzarella cheese with green peppers), mouths (apples with almonds), and (work with me on this one) a monster brain (I know--I really need to work on that one). And of course the main dish was mummy dogs, a popular dish around here. For the grown-ups I made blood drinks (sangria), eyeballs (marinated mozzarella with olives), and spider dip (just seven-layer dip with a really lame spider web drawn on it).

After dinner the kids went trick or treating. They enjoyed themselves, but were quite happy to turn their candy over to the Switch Witch. I gorged myself silly on Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and Heath Bars. I still feel sick from it.

All in all, an okay time on my not-favorite holiday. Maybe I'll figure out some more fun recipes for next year. In the meantime, we now move on to my absolute favorite holiday: Thanksgiving! Turkey and parades and races and football and hot mulled cider. Does it get any better than that?

Labels: holiday

Why was that night different from all other nights? Because it was the first night I was able to host a dinner for 18 people and not stress about it! There was plenty of room in our house, the fridge amply held all the food, I had plenty of burners for cooking, and I could relax knowing that with 8 adults and 10 kids, it didn't really matter what I did because the night would be such complete chaos that no one would know what the heck I did. The only downer of it was that Doodles has some sort of weird something that's been going around, where during the day he seems pretty fine, but he tends to run a fever at night, so he's been homebound and lethargic for a while.

So I was pleased with the way the seder went--I went a little cheesy at points (the Pharaoh called in the middle to demand the kids build pyramids; I messed up the story of the Exodus and had to give the kids prizes); Pie complained about my singing (she covered my mouth and whined, "No, Mommy! No!") although she executed one of the four questions beautifully, if through tears {she had been injured in rough Passover play); I had to simply yell the end of the seder to be heard over the kids ("NEXT YEAR IN JERUSALEM!"); but the food was eaten, the wine was drunk, conversations seemed to flow, and we made it through the (homemade) haggadah. What else can you ask for?

But now we are in the middle of Passover, and all I can do is despair that my diet is normally absolutely, completely, and totally carb based. Sushi on Saturdays. Spaghetti once or twice a week. Rice, tortillas, bread. Snacks are popcorn, veggie chips, snap pea crisps. Passover isn't a big deal in the sense of "Oh my gosh, how will I make it!" because really, it's a freakin' week. I can eat this way for a week (although Doodles is another story--that kid may starve before the week is over; the kids are eating about a dozen eggs a day. Pie woke up yesterday morning crying, "I want Cheerios! I want Mighty Bites!"). But it's a big deal in, "Oh my God, what is my diet?" Every Passover I swear I'll eat better. And for one week, I generally do. More fruit. More veggies. This is the way we're supposed to be eating. All year. Not just at Passover.

Of course, it might all be negated by how much matzah and jelly and matzah and cheese and matzah and cream cheese I eat. And the candy fruit slices. I do eat a lot of candy fruit slices. And the Passover brownies. They're actually better than normal brownies. I mean, how can you go wrong with any recipe that starts with two sticks of butter (and every Passover recipe starts with two sticks of butter and a dozen eggs).

Tonight's dinner is a veggie lasagna (zucchini instead of noodles). It'll be nice and healthy. Which is good, because I just got another box of fruit slices. The yellow ones are the best!

Labels: holiday, house, jewish

The problem with keeping a blog is there's this feeling of obligation to post something significant on the last day of the year. To do some sort of witty, or at the least, poignant, wrap up of the previous year. To ponder on what the coming year will bring.

You know that's not going to happen, right? Even if I wasn't still wrapping presents and getting dressed and trying to wrangle children to get to our New Year's Eve party, I still wouldn't have anything to say. Because 2008, as lovely as it was, was just another year in a long line of years (I hope).

The most and the least I can say is that 2008 was the year of Facebook and Twitter for me. Hockey and kindergarten for Doodles. Ballet and potty training for Pie. And Adam--well, he's still here, so that's something. We had marathons and house tear downs and a week in Vermont. We had trips to New York and lots of martinis. We turned 40 and 36 and 5 and 3. It was a year. Different from the others. But not so much.

And 2009, well, it'll be 2009. I'm looking forward to more marathons and a trip to Israel. Moving back to our house. And who knows what else it'll bring.

Happy New Year everyone. I'll see you in 2009.

Labels: holiday, me

My son really, really loves Star Wars. Hasn't seen it yet, of course. However, I've authorized the gifting of Episode IV for Doodles for Hanukkah. However, I'm a little fearful. Last night we woke up from a bad dream. In his bad dream, someone was out to get him. Who? you might ask. Well of course. It was King Antiochus. If a Roman king can keep him up at night, just think what Jabba the Hut will do for him.

***

Getting Pie dressed in the morning is always something of an ordeal. She has very specific ideas about what she wants to wear, but sometimes they can't be formulated until she's stood in front of her clothes for five minutes. "Today I want to wear... pants! No! A long-sleeved dress! No! A skirt! That one. With... not that top. No, not that top. Not that one either. Um, okay, that one!"

Doodles, of course, gets himself dressed in the morning. His clothes don't always completely coordinate, but if he doesn't care, I don't care either. However, I noticed that he was wearing the same clothes week in, week out. The same five shirts. The same five pants. Which was surprising because he had so many other tops that I was pretty sure he liked.

And then, I realized something. Doodles wears five tops and five bottoms. On the weekend, Adam washes the clothes. He puts those five tops and five bottoms away. On the top. In the drawer. Of course. As an experiment, I went into the drawer, took the five tops and the five bottoms, and I placed them on the bottom of the clothes piles in the drawers. Choosing my five favorite shirts that he hadn't worn in a while, I put those on the top. I also put vaguely coordinating pants on the top in the bottom drawer.

And, voila! The next week, we had an entirely new wardrobe on the boy. He cares so little about his clothes that he simply grabs whatever is on the top of the pile. So now I do a weekly clothes rotation, and he never knows that I'm choosing what he wears.

***

My sister-in-law will out of town the coming weekend and we'll be in Miami Beach shortly after that, so we got together yesterday with everyone to celebrate Hanukkah early. My SIL gave to Pie a purse with a zipper that Pie loved. But what was even better is that in the purse was a bunch of foreign money, primarily Egyptian money, from a trip SIL took a couple of years ago.

Pie took the money out, put the money back in. She leafed through it. She held it close. Oh, money! But then when she got to the coins, she took one look at the Twenty Piastres piece, and declared, "Mommy, it's broken." She handed me the coin. "You keep it. I don't want it. It's missing a piece."

Don't you go trying to pass off any wooden nickels to my little girl!

Labels: doodles, holiday, pie

I liked this humorous guide to the traditional Thanksgiving seder.

Labels: holiday, misc.

Labels: holiday, pie

Labels: holiday

Labels: holiday

Labels: holiday

Labels: holiday

Labels: doodles, holiday

It's a sad comment that we live in a 'burb fifteen minutes outside of Boston, and yet when we say we're going into "the City," we mean New York and we tend to do it about twice as often as we go into Boston.

Normally we host Thanksgiving. It's one of my favorite things to do. Yes, that's right, I enjoy hosting Thanksgiving. I love the planning. I love the cooking. I love the decorating. I even love the cleaning up after and that satisfaction of a fridge full of leftovers. Yes, I am a geek. Yes, my mother will wonder how she raised a daughter like me after that paragraph (rebellion against childhood upbringing, of course).

But, obviously, with our tiny little apartment kitchen, our dining room table in the middle of the living room, and the general disarray of our house life, we're not hosting this year. Next year, ah, next year with my 36" stove and wide counter space... But this year, we decided to make the trek down to the City to have Thanksgiving with my parents and the Tweedle Twirp. Of course, my parents' city apartment is considerably larger than our home apartment, but the kitchen is 1) not that big and 2) completely not set up for cooking. It's set up for getting bagels from Murray's and burgers from New York Burger Company. In preparing what to cook (my mother's exact words, "You can have Thanksgiving at our place. But I'm not doing any cooking!"), I quizzed my father. "Do you have a muffin pan?" I hear rustling and clanking, "Ah, no." "Do you have a baking pan of any size? 8 x 8? 9 x 9? 9 x 13? Even a pie plate?" "Ah...no."

So we're not exactly cooking a full meal. The Tweedle Twirp ordered a turkey, stuffing, gravy, and green beans (who really likes cooking green beans?) from Balducci's. I'm making bourbon-spiked sweet potato (and, yes, I'm going the gauche route and still added marshmallows; the bourbon is for me, the sweet potato is for my kids), sour cream-thyme muffins, and cranberry sauce. Tweeds is baking the pumpkin pie.

There's the background. Yesterday I convinced Adam to work from home. He got up early and got online while I buzzed around like a madwoman. Got Doodles to school. Plopped Pie in front of a very rare morning of TV. Packed. Cleaned. Organized. Got us all out the door and to Doodles's school by 10:30 a.m. ("We're late! Come on, Pie and Adam!" "It's only 10:25. Doesn't it start at 10:45?" Does this man live on some planet where the time is adjusted funny? Whenever I tell him a starting time, he adds at least fifteen minutes to it.)

We make it to his school just on time to see our little pilgrim enter the cafeteria for their big feast. Each class made a part of the feast. Doodles's class made corn bread. Another made soup. One made apple pies. And the fourth made--just like the pilgrims--fruit kabobs. After the feast, all the pilgrims got up and performed for us, such Thanksgiving classics such as "Albuquerque Turkey," "The Tom Tom Song," "There Are Many Things I'm Thankful For," and "Tony Chestnut." The singing ended at 11:14. At exactly 11:14:02 I had those kids in the bathroom and then out the door. We were on the road at 11:22. Which is awesome because apparently a few hours later there was an accident that caused the Pike to close a bit.

We made it down in decent time; we took on short cut and hit traffic outside of New Haven and Hartford and there was one relatively long pit stop when Pie had to pee, but we arrived in the city (meaning we crossed into the Bronx) about 4:30. It took a bit to get into Manhattan proper, but the great moment was when we got lost in Central Park. In my defense, in all my years living in New York, I never, ever drove. Really. Even on my own student film shoots at NYU when I had to rent a van, I got someone else to drive.

Why were we in Central Park in the first place? I had the brilliant idea that Adam would drop me and Pie off to watch the Thanksgiving Day balloons inflate (Doodles was invited as well, but he had no interest). I got the directions from Google Maps, which told us to take the 79th Street transverse. Only the 79th Street transverse was closed. So we entered at 72nd street. Which apparently takes us back up to 110th Street. By 5:30, Pie and I decamped at Central Park West and 81st.

In my mind, I envisioned a casual stroll among the balloons, a little oohing and ahhing, and then a quick subway back for dinner with everyone else. Not quite...

As we got to the corner, where we could see Buzz Lightyear and Spongebob we were stopped by barricades. First we were just stopped as Mayor Bloomberg passed. And then we were stopped as we were told that we had to enter the balloon inflating at 79th and Columbus. Pie was a real trooper and just kept periodically shouting, "New York! Yea, New York!" We headed over to 79th and Columbus. And waited. And waited. In masses and masses of crowds. Just waited. Finally we got to cross over and into the barricades where we got shuffled down to 77th Street.

We were smushed in, but that Pie didn't care. "Where are the balloons? Where are the balloons?" Finally, after about an hour, we made it to the balloons. And Pie was entranced. "Who's that? Who's that?" We saw Pikachu (who I originally said, "Look, it's Homer Simpson!") and Ronald McDonald and Hello Kitty (who I said, "Look! A turkey!") and Dora the Explorer (recognizable at 1000 paces), Snoopy (who I said was, "I have no idea who that is"), the Energizer bunny. At the end of the row was a Smurf. "Pie, I said. That's a smurf!" At that moment we came to a sudden halt (I will say that we were able to get right up to the barricades and see the balloons and it moved at an easy pace) as the mayor gave a press conference. "That's the mayor I told Pie."

Finally we made it down 77th Street. I did gave Pie the choice of going to the balloons on 81st Street or heading back down to the apartment for dinner. She thought about it and decided to head back, which was good because it was already after 7 and I was hungry.

We headed to the subway. You've never seen a kid so excited to be on a subway. "It's the subway! Yea, subway! Why isn't the subway moving? Oh, that's silly! It is! Is this our stop? Is this our stop? Is this our stop? Yea, subway!"

Back at the apartment, we got ourselves some burgers, came back, played. My kids did nap in the car. Their normal bedtime is 7 p.m. At 10:15 Pie finally fell asleep. Doodles fell asleep shortly after.

So 10:15 bedtime. Any guesses on wake up time? Yep, 5:45 for Pie. A cranky 5:45. But she got up. And since she was up, we had the obligatory conversation about whether or not to go see the parade in person (general advice is to arrive by 6:30 a.m. to get a good place to see the 9 a.m. parade). My daughter exhibited a rare moment of wisdom and opted for the TV.

Happily, the Nana was up soon, so Pie had a playmate while Adam and I went back to sleep. I got up just in time for the start of the parade. The kids were very enthusiastic and sure enough, Pie yelled, "I saw that last night. I saw that bunny last night! I saw that star last night!" And as that giant Smurf passed by, that great big blue inflated Smurf, Pie yelled out, "Look! It's the mayor! Doodles, that's the mayor!"

And that's our Thanksgiving until now, 9:30 a.m. Doodles is playing with Tinker Toys. Pie is doing naked tushie dancing in front of the parade on TV. Adam and my father are off picking up a pre-cooked turkey. And we've got a whole weekend ahead of us. Tune in for more turkey adventures. And happy Thanksgiving!

Labels: doodles, holiday, New York, pie

I am a sucker for holidays. No doubt about it. I love the decorating (both the house and the kids), the food, the crafts--you name it, I like it. And I like all holidays pretty much equally. We obviously don't do Christmas and Easter, but I'll decorate and throw a party for anything else--July 4th? How about a BBQ! Rosh Hashanah? Let's invite all the kids over for apples and honey. Hanukkah? That's our big bash of the year. Many of you longtime readers will remember the long running debate (like here and here) on holiday decorations at our house.

However, in the apartment, the holidays have gotten swallowed a bit. No decorations for Halloween. No inviting classmates over for Rosh Hashanah. There will be no big Hanukkah party. There's no where to hang decorations.

But the one thing I can do is my dishes. I have dishes for every occasion. I put most of our toys, apparently some of my clothes (or else they've just walked off), our TV, our photos, our craft supplies--I put a lot--into storage, except I, of course, kept out the appropriate seasonal plates for the holidays we'd be spending in the apartment. If there's a holiday, I have a plate. And preferably a bowl and cup to go with it.

But the thing is, I owned two turkey plates. And one of them got broke. I won't say by whom (Adam) but it's now broken and I have just one turkey plate. Which is unacceptable.

So Pie and I made the journey to Target to stock up on our turkey supplies. However, Thanksgiving apparently no longer exists at Target. Because at the beginning of November, we've gone straight to Christmas, do not pass Thanksgiving, do not collect any cranberry sauce. Target had preciously one set of wash cloths and a handful of paper plates with a Thanksgiving theme. I was annoyed; Pie was confused. "Where's Thanksgiving? I don't see Thanksgiving!" Who has Thanksgiving? Why Pottery Barn Kids, of course. For about five times the price. I like holiday decorations. I don't like spending an arm and a leg on them.

How did this happen? Thanksgiving is definitely one of my favorite holidays and I'm bummed I can't host this year. The least I can have is my damn turkey plates! Stupid retailers. Don't they know they could commercialize Thanksgiving like every other self-respecting holiday?

Gobble, gobble! E-bay here I come.

Labels: holiday

Doodles is completely looking forward to the Switch Witch. He's talking about it nonstop. Is she real? What is she like? What's she going to bring? Doodles is Switch Witch stoked. But Pie? Well, Pie is Pie.

Pie: I don't want the Switch Witch to come.
Me: But she's a nice witch!
Pie: I don't want her to come.
Me: Don't you want to get a toy?
Pie shakes her head vehemently: No!
Me: But the Switch Witch always comes.
Pie: I don't want her this year.
Me: Why?
Pie: I don't want her to take my candy.
Me: But she'll bring you a toy in return.
Pie: No! I don't want her taking my candy!
Me: And what do you think your going to do with all that candy?
Pie: Eat it! All if it. I want to eat all my candy. So tell the Switch Witch not to come.

Yeah, Pie. But the problem is, I want to eat all your candy, too. And I'm bigger than you.

Labels: holiday, pie

Another 4th of July, another year of missed fireworks. I used to love going to see fireworks in New York, when they set them off at the very reasonable hour of 9 p.m. Here in Boston land, they don't start until 10:30 in order to air them on national TV. But I don't get it--D.C. and New York are also on national TV and they put on fireworks before everyone wants to go to bed.

We had a dreary rainy day, but that didn't stop the kids from gathering for our neighborhoods official unofficial 4th of July bike parade. It's an extremely casual thing. Meet up at the school. Say the Pledge of Allegiance. Bike a few blocks in the neighborhood. Someone up front carries a flag. Someone in the middle pushes a stroller with a boom box blaring patriotic songs strapped in. After we're done, back to the school where we all share snacks that we brought. Fine and dandy. Adam pushed Pie on her trike. Doodles, two-wheelin' stud that he is, took off at the front. That kid was flying. Which is why it was no surprise that he completely wiped out and now had a bad case of road rash on his cheek. I got him fixed up and he somehow managed to force himself back to the school for snack. He promised that a Rice Krispie treat would make him feel better. Oh, wait, the Popsicle would do the trick. Nope, nothing. The kid was in a sour mood all day. Even during our ever-so-wonderful 4th of July BBQ. He perked up only to become absolutely wild with one of his friends, but the minute she left, he was back to his crankmeister self. I felt so bad about his spill that I turned a total blind eye as the kid devoured cookies, chocolate-covered pretzels, and cupcakes, but the kid was still ornery. I still felt really badly for him and told him he could stay up late for fireworks (not the Boston ones, mind you, but the reasonably timed ones on TV), but he ended crashing at his normal bedtime.

But not the Pie! She ate. And ate. And ate. And ate. She played with friends a little, and her grandmother a lot. She ate some more. She took a walk. And then had more to eat. She got to stay up way past her bedtime, and when we finally insisted after 8 p.m. that she had to go to bed, she exclaimed, "Wait! We forgot to have dinner!" She was not happy to learn the kitchen was closed for the evening.

I hope everyone had a very happy 4th. And that you got to watch fireworks. And that no one forgot any meals in your house.

Labels: doodles, holiday, pie

Some weeks I really have nothing to say, and I have to scramble for something to write. This week there's plenty to write about, and I'm still scrambling for something to write, because Adam's at the Red Sox game, which means I had to put the kids to sleep. I have no patience for putting the kids to sleep. None. Because the ritual goes on and on and on and on...

Today broke 80 degrees. Our house is quite warm. And still Pie needs her slippers, her vest, and her sweater on. Hood up, please. Where are her mittens? Is her watch in her pocket? She needs more trains to sit on the heater next to her. Wipes! She needs two wipes. On the heater. Why? I have no clue. Oh, what! She needs to use the potty. And--damn!--the look of pure sinister when she actually does pee. Finally, she goes to bed. But the whole process takes about forty-five minutes at the end of the day, when I'm done. I mean done. So all rational thought has left me and it's Passover, which means I can't even indulge in a little M&M therapy. Matzah therapy? Just not quite the same ring to it.

[Note: Blogger seems to be having some issues posting images tonight--they'll be here tomorrow]

Labels: holiday, pie

Hey, you! What are you doing here? Are you just trying to distract me. People, I have THINGS to do!

Okay, deep breath. Those of you who know me, know I'm a fairly organized person. I have binders. They're labeled. They're color coded. They're pretty. Adam just went to the accountant to do our taxes. The accountant said we are the most organized folk he's ever seen. I have systems and techniques and methods for staying on top of things. I have charts. Being type-A makes me happy. Nothing is more satisfying to me than purging the crap from my life. Did you know that I've not only made four batches of hamantaschen at home, but I, somewhat successfully, managed to eke out a few dozen batches with a class of nine toddlers and then a class of twelve preschoolers. And I make freakin' good hamantaschen. (My recipe comes from The New Jewish Holiday Cookbook, which is amazing!) Is it because I'm a good cook? Nah. I'm really not. It's because I'm organized!

So how is it that it's now 8:29 p.m. and at 4:30 tomorrow my son is to be dressed as King Ahasuerus and I have nary a king's robe nor scepter in sight. Yes, that's right. I've got nothing! Nada. Or, to be somewhat holiday appropriate, Klum. Purim, the most joyous of Jewish holidays, is gonna be a tear-fest for one of us.

How did this come about? I'd like to blame the Y chromosome. Because the X chromosomed of this family are all set for tomorrow.

If you recall, Doodles was an astronaut for Halloween. A lovely idea but a less than lovely costume. I ordered it online, and the helmet was this rolled up piece of plastic that supposedly attached by Velcro to an inflatable backpack. Except the Velcro never stuck and I was worried he was going to suffocate behind all that plastic. It's not a practical costume, certainly not if part of your Purim festivities include a "festive meal," which ours certainly does.

Exactly a week ago, on the way to feeding group, we passed by a party store that advertised "Purim Costumes." We stopped off.
Me: What do you want to be?
Doodles: I don't know.
He flips through the racks.
Doodles: Oooh! I want to be this!
He found a Power Rangers costume. I'm not crazy about Power Rangers, but I look nonetheless.
Me: It's a size eight to ten.
Doodles: Will that fit?
Me: No. You're a size 4T. Sort of. [Note: Doodles is still small. Very, very small. Truth be told, there are probably some 2T costumes he could comfortably fit in.]
Doodles: How about this knight?
Me: Nope. I'm not sending you to school with a sword. Hey [pointing to a 2T to 4T sized king's outfit]. How about King Ahasuerus?
Doodles: No. I think I want to be Superman.
Me: King Ahasuerus is a pretty cool costume.
Doodles: No, Superman. Maybe Spiderman.
Me: [Sigh] Okay, well they don't have any of those in your size. We'll have to check another store.

We leave the store.

Over the weekend, we're pretty busy. In my oh-so-organized way, I take my son to a Shabbat service, co-chair a tot Purim program, take my son to a birthday party, and color Easter eggs with friends. I mention to my son that we need to go to the party store to look for his costume.

Me: Superman, right?
Doodles: No! I'm going to be King Ahasuerus. Remember?
Me: WHAT?! I thought you wanted to be Superman!?!
Doodles, sighing heavily: No, mom! I want to be King Ahasuerus!

On Monday, I tell Adam, "Listen, I need you to go by that party store [it's absolutely, completely, totally, can't miss it, on the way home from work for him] and get Doodles his costume." Adam, of course, replies, "Yeah, sure." Adam, of course, neglects to stop by the party store.

I contemplate making the outfit, but invariably, I'd end up spending about five times more on materials for a less-than-satisfying costume than if I had just bought the damn thing.

So today, on our way back to feeding group, we stop at the party store. Where they have one king costume left. Size 12 to 14.

Me: Doodles, they don't have your king costume.
Doodles: Okay. We'll get it somewhere else. Hey, Pie!
Pie: Yeah?
Doodles: Pie, why don't you go as Queen Esther.
Me: Doodles, hush up! Pie has already decided to go as Pooh [a costume that our neighbors gave us a long time ago as dress up and is sitting in our basement just waiting for Purim.]
Doodles: No, Pie wants to be Queen Esther. Look at the pretty Queen Esther costumes!
Me: Doodles!
Doodles: Pie, don't you want to be Queen Esther?
Pie: I'm going to be Pooh.
Doodles: But look how pretty Queen Esther is.
Pie: Yeah. Pie going to be Queen Esther.
Doodles: See!!! She wants to be Queen Esther.

I dragged them out of that store as fast as I could. I told Adam we needed a king costume and he had to stop by a different party store. "Oh yeah. Didn't you tell me to do that earlier in the week?" ARG!! "I can swing by on the way home." When I tell him the store in his neighborhood is all sold out, he has the nerve--the freakin' nerve!!--to say to me, "Well, what did you expect? It's across the street from a synagogue." Little does he know that the wine I served him tonight is poisoned.

So, anyway, here we are, now 8:50 p.m., and I have nothing. Nada. Klum. Did I mention that before? I wonder if I can convince Doodles that there's a ghost in the Book of Esther. A plain ghost. Made out of a sheet. A green sheet. Because, you know, we don't have any white sheets.

Purim freakin' Sameach, people. Happy freakin' Purim. Good thing I'm supposed to get drunk.

Labels: adam, doodles, holiday, jewish