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Category Archives: Uncategorized

What’s Up with Jenny Brown (European Version)

First Dubai Jenny Brown started living it up. Now, it’s worse. Now there’s Genoa Jenny Brown. I would like it known that Genoa Jenny Brown is having infinite more fun than both Dubai Jenny Brown and Boston Jenny Brown. I cite as proof this e-mail that was mistakenly sent to my e-mail account: Hello to [...]

The Post in Which I Realize I Watch Too Much “Downton Abbey”

My Daughter Exhibits her Worldliness Looking at a book on London, she spies a picture of Westminster Abbey. (Photo from About London Picture Gallery) She looked at it and then asked in her most astonished voice, “Mommy! Is that Downton Abbey?” My Husband Makes Me Feel Incredibly Old, Part 1 Waiting for Downton Abbey to [...]

Let’s Talk About S*ex, Baby

This weekend, I unfurled a c*ondom for my son. He was fascinated, checking out the texture, noting that it was a little slimy. Turned it around a few times. Tried rolling it up. Handed it back when he was done. Cue the Afterschool Special music. It’s that time. The boy and I, we’re talking puberty! [...]

Spelling List… for the Apocalypse

I’ll be honest: Most of my elementary school years are a blur. I mostly remember doing super fun, incredibly dangerous things that I would never ever let my children do today (playing on construction sites? Riding a bike exploring new areas for hours on end? Roaming in the woods?) I think everyone on Facebook has [...]

If You’ve Got Something Nice to Say…

So, it’s not exactly my review, but it’s a review of the issue of Bellevue Literary Review that my essay was in, and I did get a teeny-tiny shout out. Hey, I’ll take it where I can get it! And so you don’t have to go digging through for my little bitty mention, the very [...]

Happy Talk… All the Way to the Asylum

One of the traits I inherited from my mother is the ability to relate any familial situation to a song from a musical. You’d be amazed how easily the world can be reduced to a Rodgers & Hammerstein number. We’re having a problem with Pie. Picture the women from Music Man, standing around gabbing nonstop. [...]

Cow Wars

Families unravel over so many things. Some families fall apart over money. Other times, outside interests can interfere with family life, creating strife. Now and then, it’s the general malaise of life that can cause discord in a family. None of these are ailing my family. My family is having fits. But the root of [...]

Post-Bourbon Blues

Ah, the return to civilization. It’s never pretty, is it? That forced detox when the bourbon doesn’t come three times a day (although to be honest, the first drink of the day was generally vodka as we never made it to the brunch that serves a bourbon bloody Mary, and I did love the gin-focused [...]

The End of the Year as We Know It

South Beach has gotten to me again. It’s sucked me up and spit me back out. But I come up momentarily for air to say Happy New Year. It’s been a year of ups and downs and ups again, but overall it was a good year and I hope 2012 continues in the same vein. [...]

Rough Life

Vacation dilemma #1: What will the holiday drink be? I’m a firm believer that Whiskey Sours shouldn’t be drunk when it’s above 50 degrees. Mojitos? Possibly. A little out of season, but still acceptable in this 78 degree weather. Lemon-Drop Martinis? Always a safe go-to drink. Tonight, alone with my husband (can you imagine?) at [...]