Treat your body like a temple. Let me tell you: I’ve been doing this. It doesn’t work.
But I had an epiphany. When they (whoever the great Gods of “they” are) say, “like a temple,” they mean something along the lines of a Buddhist temple or even a Jewish temple or a church.
And see, all these years, when I thought temple, I was thinking more along the lines of those pagan temples. You know the ones. Temples where virgins were sacrificed, where the priests drank copious amounts of alcohol, where animals were sodomized. I mean, right? Now we’re talking!
I think this epiphany struck when I read in my comments that Angela toasts her Peeps. This comment sent me into a fervor. Toasted peeps! That. Is. Freaking. Brilliant.
I went on a frenzy. I hit every drugstore in a five-mile radius. I checked the supermarket clearance aisles. I searched every nook and cranny in the house in case I had some Peeps I had forgotten about.
Alas. There are no more Peeps to be had. And then it hit me. If I spent even half the time planning out healthy meals as I did on my Peep hunt, I’d be living in that Buddhist temple instead of my pagan den of iniquity. I wouldn’t have to suck in my gut whenever I got on the scale (anyone else notice how that doesn’t change the needle on the scale one iota? And yet I do it faithfully every time I stand on the scale).
It’s time. Time to convert. I need a new temple. One that doesn’t allow you to yell at your children to leave the kitchen because you need to get another spoonful of raw cookie dough. One that doesn’t think, “Eh, cooking those veggies is going to take too long, but I’ve got a nice loaf of bread I can make into lunch.” One that doesn’t include children peering in the garbage in wonder at all the candy wrappers. (Hey! No judging allowed! You try writing a novel without copious amounts of gummy bears!)
Healthy food. Eating all the fruits and veggies in our Boston Organics delivery, even the funny ones like black radishes. Pasta no more than once a week (okay, maybe twice; we don’t want to be insane about this.). Trying new grains. Not making four different meals for four different family members but finding foods that we’ll all eat. This could happen, right?
My body will be a temple. Of the most pious sort.
Of course that doesn’t mean come October, I’m not hunting me down some Halloween Peeps. Because even though my temple doesn’t have virgin sacrifices, the Peeps are going to be most definitely burned at the stake!