Jasmine is over for a play date. The car ride back to the house consisted of this: Me: Okay, Pie, let Jasmine slide into the car first.Jasmine: No, I’m Pie! She’s Jasmine!Pie: Yeah! I’m Jasmine! We changed our names because we’re getting married.Jasmine: Yeah, we’re getting married.Pie: Yes. I’m going to be the bride, and [...]
Walking home from school today, Pie announced apropos of nothing, “When I grow up, I’m going to be a doctor!” Me: What kind of doctor?Pie: A marathon doctor! A racer doctor! Doodles: There’s no such thing!Pie: No?Doodles: There are four kinds of doctor. There’s no marathon doctor.Me: What are the four kinds?Doodles: There are ambulance [...]
Pie, going through her “treasure drawer,” unearthed her shiny flip flops. Pie, to me: Look, Mommy! Here are my shiny flip flops! Then, to her flip flops, with longing: I’ve missed you!
Everyday I ask Doodles what he did at school. And everyday he gives me the same answer: “I don’t remember.” I was flipping through a parenting magazine (can’t remember which one) and it had some ideas for conversation starters with kids. One of the things they suggested was the game Two Truths and a Lie. [...]
I love complaining about my children. You know that. I do it here all the time. And on Facebook. And Twitter. And IM to Adam. Complaining about kids is kind of like my hobby. Until. Until. Damn that American educational system! The boy is actually reading! Reading, I tell you! Which is all fine and [...]
Ah, Patriots’ Day. The start of spring break. Five days. Me and my kids. At home. With four days of predicted rain. Fun all around! Actually, I love Patriots’ Day, as I attest every year. It’s like 4th of July, but with jackets and better parades. We started out the day at the marathon. This [...]
For the past few weeks, my life has been all about unpacking and preparing for Passover. Well, the seders have passed. The house is 97% unpacked. And I was looking forward to finally getting my office all in place and getting back to my writing! I’m jonesing for my computer. Eager to get back to [...]
Why was that night different from all other nights? Because it was the first night I was able to host a dinner for 18 people and not stress about it! There was plenty of room in our house, the fridge amply held all the food, I had plenty of burners for cooking, and I could [...]
I feel so dirty. I mean downright nasty. My mom had all these extra Delta miles that were about to expire. So she called us up an offered us magazine subscriptions. Adam took one to Barron’s. I immediately claimed one to Martha. But then she tried to push more subscriptions on us. “I have to [...]
Me: I need to run by the store and get some Oxiclean. Pie: What for? Me: To get the grape juice and wine out of our table cloth. Pie: I seen that on TV. Me: Really? Doodles: Yeah! And you can get a spray with Oxi power! It’ll really clean. All you need is one [...]