the pieces of my life

I’ve read a number of times that kids like boundaries. It helps them feel safe in the world. But no one has demonstrated that more the Pie. We’re having a tough time with that monkey, but as she’s both two and terrible, I’m hoping this is a phase she will outgrow. Our lives have become one big temper tantrum. The slightest thing will set her off and I’m at a little bit of a loss as to how to deal with it, as Doodles didn’t go through this phase till he was three and a half and a little more capable of reasoning. (If anyone has any favorite books on this subject, suggest them, please!)

Anyway, as mentioned, she’s in the big girl bed. Which is causing big girl problems. Because Pie has never gone to bed nicely, but at least before, she couldn’t get up. Naps are nearly nonexistent unless I have a specific bribe/lie (“Oh, the rules at the YMCA are that anyone in the Seahorse swim class must take a nap before class. If you don’t take the nap, the Y won’t let you swim. Sorry, it’s just the rules!”). But if I don’t have that, forget it!

The other night was particularly bad. An hour and a half of top-of-her-lungs screaming as she wandered in and out of the bedroom. Finally, Adam threatened, “If you don’t stay in bed, I’m going to put a gate on the door!”

Pie immediately stopped crying. “Want gate!”
Adam: You want a gate?
More screaming, but eventually, “Want gate!” More screaming ensued.

So Adam dutifully went to my office, which is gated off from grabby hands, and took the gate. He moved it to Pie and Doodles’s door. Pie took one look at the gate, one look at us, then looked at the gate again. She then walked over to her bed, climbed in, and not another peep from her.

Frankly, I think it was all a big fat ploy for them to gain easy access to my office. Because that’s just the kind of devious kids I’ve got. More power to them.

Pie’s in a big girl bed. I really, really didn’t want to do it, but she was starting to sling her leg over the side of her crib, and I feared for the splat.

Last Thursday morning, she was up at 3:47 a.m. Adam tried bringing her into our already overcrowded bed (Doodles had climbed in at about 11:30 p.m. and had a kickful night), but it was clear by 4:20 that she wasn’t going back to sleep and by 4:40 that Doodles too was up for the day. I got up, but was absolutely miserable, so I left the kids to their father, went back to bed and finally fell back asleep shortly after 5:30. At 7:30, Adam wakes me up. I’m having a hard time getting out of bed, not made easier by my darling children.

Pie: Mommy! Read me! Read me Valentine and Cheerio book! Mommy, I have slippers! Mommy, where are your feet?
Doodles: Why do you have cracks in your eyes?
Adam [who is trying–and failing–to convince me to get out of bed]: What cracks?
Doodles: Those red cracks. In Mommy’s eyes. Why does she have them?

Mommy looks haggard because you made her that way. Now let me go back to sleep!!!
Let’s just say that after that comment, Adam had a hell of a time

Do you ever just have one of those days? When your toddler hasn’t napped, your preschooler is hopped up on sugar, and everything seems to be slightly off kilter? Like you turn around and your dinner (Shabbat dinner, no less) is setting off the smoke alarm, your daughter has peed on the floor and is crying for dry clothes, and your son is trying to cram the elephant he’s brought home for the weekend from school into a pair of doll pajamas. And the next thing you know, everyone is hungry and tired and you’re in the basement, frantically looking for some outgrown pajamas for Hippo the Patamus, because if your son’s animal has pajamas, then you know damn well your daughter’s animal needs some, too, and you can hear the timer going off for the food, and you can hear your husband come clomping in and the sounds of him riling up the kids and all you can think is, “Where can I possibly find pajamas for a hippo?” and then you think, “What the hell am I doing?”

Yeah, that’s what it’s been like for me, too.