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Monthly Archives: October 2007

A General Litany of Complaints

This morning started out pretty well. Despite screaming from 11:20 p.m. to 11:45 and then again from 2:34 a.m. to 2:47 (it’s getting shorter!), and then waking at 5:14 a.m., which I ignored, Pie actually fell back asleep and didn’t wake till 7:30, which is practically a record. Doodles was so excited it’s Halloween that [...]

The Post in Which I Admit My Most Humiliating Moments

I try to keep these posts foul-language free, but there’s no way around it: Last Saturday, I was shitfaced. So drunk. Completely out of control. I had a sudden flashback yesterday: Me, dancing on a table. That one wasn’t totally my fault. There was a low table. My cousin-in-law said, “Hey, look at that! No [...]

Food Around the World

Doodles wants to travel. The list of places he wants to go grows daily. “Can we go to South America?” “Can we go to Egypt?” “Can we go to China?” I give him a stock answer. “Of course we can go to those places! But we can’t go until you start eating energy food, because [...]

Family Planning

Doodles: When I grow up I’m going to have kids.Adam: How many kids are you going to have?Doodles: Five.Adam: What are their names going to be?Doodles: The first one is going to be Bessie Brown because that’s Peter’s Mommy’s name. The second one is named Nathan Brown because that Peter’s Daddy’s name.Adam: What are the [...]

Talk Talk

Because this blog isn’t complete without random conversations of my children: Me: So, Pie, what did you do at school today?Pie: Um, crackers.Me: You ate crackers. What else did you do?Pie: Peppers.Me: You ate some peppers. Anything else? Did you play on the playground?Pie: Um, orange.Me: Yes, that’s right. Your teacher did mention you had [...]

Food for Thought (So Don’t Even Try to Put It Anywhere Near His Mouth)

Long-time readers of this blog will remember that my son has eating issues. As in, he doesn’t. Oh, okay. That’s not true. He’s a little carboholic but his lips have never been sullied by an actual, real, whole vegetable. Never. Ever. He tolerated the stage one purees as a baby, but never progressed to stage [...]

Who’s Child Is This?

I’ve blogged a few times before about how I’m shopping impaired. I hate shopping for myself. Can’t stand buying clothes. Just don’t see the point about shoes. They’re something for your feet to keep them from getting stones embedded in them. Pie has not inherited this lack of clothing/shoe lust from me. A while ago, [...]

The Devil Wears Diapers

That Pie and her temper tantrums. Oh are they a force to be reckoned with! In the morning, I lie in bed, pretending I can’t hear the screams coming from downstairs. Doodles is finally starting to sleep in. You know, till about 6:20 a.m., which is heaven. Pie on the other hand is up daily [...]

The Wisdom of Wee Ones

Every morning now begins with inventory. As Adam gets dressed, this conversation ensues: Pie: Daddy has a p*enis!Adam: Yes, that’s right.Pie: Pie has a gagina!Adam: Right again!We don’t feel ogled. No not at all… Overheard by another mother:Doodles: Do you believe in Santa Claus?Little Friend: What?Friend’s Mom: She doesn’t know about Santa Claus.Doodles: Okay, but [...]