Doodles: Mommy, when I grow up, can I be pharaoh?Me: No, sweetie. There are no pharaohs anymore.Doodles: Why not?Me: The pharaohs all died long ago. Egypt is now ruled by a president.Doodles: What’s a president?Me: He’s someone chosen by the people to run a country [Note: I am aware that Egypt's president wasn't exactly chosen [...]
Shhh, I’m hiding in my office. In about 45 minutes, I get to go out to dinner with a girlfriend–no kids!–but for now, I’m trying to recover from the last three hours when my children broke me. Broke me, I tell you! The Pie and Doodles both have birthdays coming up at the end of [...]
I cannot fathom–cannot even begin to fathom–that when Doodles was the age that Pie currently is, I was one mere month away from giving birth. And that is simply because the Pie is making me insane. I was going to actually write that I don’t know how this happened, because Doodles was such an angel [...]
I fear the banana. Seriously. The banana terrifies me. Because when the Pie points and says, “Banana! Banana!” you never know what you’re going to get. The first step is to hand her the entire unpeeled banana. Whatever you do, do not peel the banana without first obtaining explicit permission. I’m not even going to [...]
I absolutely won the Mean Mommy of the Year Award last Sunday. We had a fun-filled morning at the beach with my mother-in-law in New Hampshire. It was a bit chilly out, but the kids didn’t care one whit (although it made me cranky. As I said to Adam, “We have a word for this [...]
I’m not sure where she learned it, but Pie’s new phrase is “Look at me!” It is yelled everywhere for any purpose. While I generally find it amusing, the other folks, um, dining (using the word in its loosest meaning) at Costco weren’t impressed when Pie filled her fork with cheese from her pizza, leaped [...]
I’m sorry, but can I just say, one more time, I don’t know, I don’t know, I DON’T KNOW! I’m sorry, Doodles, that your mother has such tremendous gaps in her very expensive education, but I simply don’t know any of the following (all inquired about before noon on a single day; this doesn’t include [...]
Ever have one of those days? You know the kind of day when the person previously organizing the neighborhood 4th of July parade decides her kids are too old for the parade and some how the organization of the parade falls into your lap? So you quickly make some signs and go with a neighbor [...]