Wednesday, December 27, 2006
The F.D.A. has recently approved a new form of birth control: It’s called Pie on a Plane. Take a childless person of any age and place next to Pie while traveling for any amount of time greater than five minutes on an airplane. Guaranteed upon landing that person will be buying a mega-sized package of [...]
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Doodles [on the drive home from Christmas dinner at friends' house]: Why do they have Santa in their yard.Me: It’s a Christmas decoration. People decorate their homes for the holiday.Doodles: Next year I want a Santa in our yard.Me: No, sweetie, we don’t do that. Jewish people don’t decorate with Santa.Doodles: Oh.Adam: Your mommy does [...]
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Let me start by saying this is the heavily abbreviated version of this story. It actually went on for well over an hour. Anyway, last Saturday morning, I was tired. Pie was up at 5 a.m. and would only be appeased by the thing that only I can give her. I obliged at 5:20. I [...]
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
I’d be nice and relaxed right now except that my daughter is screaming her little head off in her crib. She’s obviously tired but she’s teething (a couple of canines just broke through, but we have a couple more to do), hence the cranky screaming, which is sad now but miserable for everyone when it [...]
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Was there really a time when I wished my son would start to talk? Is that really the case? Because, God help me, I take it all back. That kid won’t SHUT UP! He is making me crazy with the constant stream of chatter that oozes out of him at all times: Excuse me, Mommy. [...]
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
While I’m not exactly trying to keep up with the Joneses, I have to say our poor little undecorated house is looking a little sad out here in suburbia land, with nary a decoration up for the holidays. I want our house to look cheery and welcoming and fun! So I’m ordering few decorations for [...]
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
It snowed! True, it didn’t stick for very long, but actual snowflakes came down from the heavens, leading my darling son to proclaim, “Where are my snow boots?” “Right here!” I called out, as I retrieved them from the closet. His lovely blue size 5 snow boots that aren’t, in any stretch of the imagination, [...]
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
Actually, I probably don’t need to beat anyone up for Doodles. The Pie can do it for him. Man, that girl is tough!! She wants to be in the middle of everything. Anytime, anyplace–she’ll take you on! Luckily, she has a soft spot for her brother. Today we went to an open gym, the big [...]