Ah, our Sweetie Pie. We thought we gave birth to a beautiful little girl. Turns out we spawned an angry seal.
Most newborns mewl. They make these soft, pathetic little cries that break the hearts of new mothers everywhere. Not my child. My child squeaks. And barks. And snorts. And groans. If you close your eyes, you’d think you were in the aquatic section of the zoo. Unless you’re hearing it at 2 a.m. In which case, you think you’re trapped in a very bizarre David-Lynch type nightmare from which there is no escape. Which, I suppose, there isn’t.
Funny! We’re hoping our sweetie pie will be mellow. Don’t mess with my illusion just yet!
Sorry that life got so busy that I missed Sweetie Pie’s arrival. Congrats. You all look great and she sounds like a doll.
Just when you thought child-rearing couldn’t be David Lynch-like…