the pieces of my life

For the record: Adam has agreed that he will be the one to take the girl’s to the 2015-version of the Backstreet Boys/Britney Spears when they want to go to the concert.

I suppose it’s time for a year-end wrap-up. That’s what you’re supposed to do on December 31, isn’t it? 2001 feels like it’s been a wild year, and I’m not talking about what’s going on in the world at large. In some ways, it feels as if I took my life, turned it upside down and shook. Not a lot of change fell out of the pockets, but things certainly didn’t end up where I would have expected them to end up. There’s the work front. An overnight promotion that had me managing a team of six (the Tweedle Twirp’s words will forever stay with me: “Remember there’s a difference between being a boss and being bossy”). Four managers in one year. A constant trickle of people I enjoy working with leaving the company. A decision to take a complete change of direction in my job. There’s my personal life. Me getting married. What a concept. There’s my writing. Lots of rejection letters. But lots of personal rejection letters, which in some ways is almost more frustrating (I’m tired of “your piece made it into the final round, but…”). Wrote a novel. I’ve gotten more fit over the year, running both a triathlon and a half-marathon. Things are great, but nowhere where I thought I’d be at 33.

I’m a little anxious about the upcoming year. New job. The wedding. The disappointment if Adam doesn’t get into grad school. The stress of selling the house, finding a new one, getting a new job if he does. This will be an unsettling year. I guess I’m ready for it. I mean, I don’t really have a choice, do I?

Since I’m taking Monday off, this is officially my last day on the DVD & Video team (good-bye free DVDs!). Very odd feeling. The intranet already shows my new title, and I’m feeling neither here nor there at the moment. Occurred to me yesterday that out of everyone who launched DVD & Video, there’s only one person still on the team (and that’s not just editorial, either). I’ll have a few loose ends to tie up next week, but I’m hoping to start sitting in my new office on Wednesday, to remove myself. I hear things going on in DVD & Video, and I want to put in my two cents, but I realize that there are things going on that folks will have to deal with without me. I’m feeling a little angsty about starting my new job–I have no idea what I’ve gotten myself into. This place has changed so much in the past 3 3/4 years (although who’s counting?).

On a happier note, our house no longer smells like oil. Our bright and shiny new furnace is heating the whole house happily. And how do I love our new programmable thermostat (Peter said to me, “If you’re moving, why do you want to bother with a programmable thermostat?” Obviously someone has lived too long in a warm weather state). I remember when an exciting splurge used to be dinner at a new restaurant. Now it’s a programmable thermostat.

I’m so looking forward to a nice quiet four-day weekend (my first in an age, since I worked the day after Thanksgiving and the day before Christmas. Retail sucks). I want to do nothing but read and relax and catch a couple of flicks. Try to be less tense (or as Peter says, “Just be past tense”).

Ah, Christmas dinner the way the Christians do it. Tracy and Lloyd had us over to dinner tonight and it was fabulous, although I’m definitely waddling now. Adam and I meant to catch a flick earlier, although we got caught up in stuff (read: Adam’s b-school essays), so we never made it out.

You know, every Hannukah, on the radio the d.j.s say, “And a Happy Hannukah to our Jewish listeners.” How come they don’t say now, “And a Merry Christmas to our Christian listeners.” I’m feeling slightly bah-humbug as people just don’t want to let it rest. At the grocery store yesterday, I was quizzed by the checkout person, who I know was only trying to be nice. “Are you all ready for the holiday?” she asked. And as always, I just played along until she started digging deeper. “All your presents wrapped? Tree all set?” I finally told her I didn’t celebrate Christmas and the bag boy looked at me like I was from Mars. “Chanukah is over, so my presents are not only wrapped, they’re unwrapped and even exchanged in a couple of instances” (Adam exchanged his green sweater for a gray one.) She kept pressing, “So it’s completely done? There’s nothing left?” It’s women like her that make me want to slap people upside the head and say, “The baby Jesus was a fucking Jew, for God’s sake!” But I resisted, and just smiled.

I’m still waiting for my squat. Adam’s got another three hours and 24 minutes to squat. Why does he have to squat, you might ask? Because we woke up this morning, and I exclaimed, “It’s my half birthday! What did you get me?” and he said, “I got you squat.” So I’ve been waiting all day for him to squat, but so far, I’ve gotten squat on the squat. Some half birthday this has been!

I ate too much. Did I mention that? I ate way, way too much. But it was sooooo good.

Two interesting Web sites. Looking for the love of your life? Check out Coincidence Design (wish I could say I found this myself, but Eugene actually discovered it and had it in his weblog.) The other, there’s nothing like naked women holding a cat.

The two faces of Christmas:

1) While running at Greenlake this morning, a man was dressed in a full Santa suit with his son/grandson, and they were handing out candy canes to everyone who walked past them.

2) A group of people have been standing on a bridge over 15th Ave NW, waving to drivers as they display their gigantic banner, which reads, “Holiday is MURDER on turkeys!”

I’m not sure if I haven’t posted simply because I haven’t had many waking hours or if it’s simply that it’s hard to follow up after Fernley. I’ve done little but sleep the past week. And now, I don’t even have time to catch up properly (well, really, there’s little to catch up on), because I need to go meet Adam at the tire place, as his car needs new tires.

It’s the last blog from Fernley…EVER! (Adam, you’d better get into grad school).

Everything hurts. I’m tired. But there’s only an hour and a half to go.

Sarah’s here with me. Sarah, anything to say to the folks in Seattle? “Don’t ever send me here again,” she says. “And at least give me a gun if you do.” Sarah actually got tricked into coming out here–she was told it would be “fun.” She works in the public policy office in D.C., so she knew no one who could speak the truth of the horrors of Fernley. She’s my gift-wrapping buddy, even if she is only twenty-two.

And that’s all she wrote from Fernley.

I don’t care if it’s my last day–I STILL hate Crisplant. Still breaking them.

Another gift card (and really, this stuff is too good to be made up) on a c.d. Two presents, one went to a guy, one went to a girl. This one was for the girl: “[Girl’s name ending in i] study her moves, learn them, know them! Then you can tempt my soul like Sakira does. But you can honestly say you have mountainous breasts. Merry Christmas to the two of you.”

I am so tired. I cannot wait to get on that plane. When I’m not sleeping, I’ll be moisturizing my disgusting hands (cuts, dry skin, general nastiness). When I’m not moisturizing my hands, I’ll be sleeping.

LAST FRIGGING NIGHT!!! As Sarah says, “It’s so sad. Minus sad.”

Don’t drink and dude. Anyone who has spoken with me in the past 24 hours understands this statement (sorry, Adam).

Four and half hours of sleep simply is not enough for me. I knew I was in trouble when full-out daylight hit.

At least I’m not as bad off as Jayson. I was headed back to my room after I had picked up my lunch because I had forgotten my club card, and I ran into Jayson who was walking toward his room with one of the Amazon beach towels (this years gift) on his head. I said (what else?), “Dude, what’s that on your forehead?” He pulled the towel down, and across his forehead was written “Elvis Lives” in permanent marker (Jayson’s been wearing his Elvis glasses a lot). He said he had fallen asleep in the hospitality and woken up ten minutes before (it was 4 p.m.). He went up to his room and realized he didn’t have a key. So he went back, grabbed a towel to cover his head, and went to the front desk for a new key. Funny thing was I had just been in the room to get my Diet Coke and return the many beach towels Scott had given me the night before (oops, that morning), and I hadn’t even noticed him. When tonight starts to drag, I’ll think of Jayson and just start laughing all over again.

Did really well at the tables last night. I was down to about eight bucks, so I threw it all on the table and hit blackjack. Then, later, I was ready to leave. Didn’t know how much I had but I threw it all down and hit blackjack again! When I went to cash out my chips from the trip, I got back just over $65, which puts me pretty even for my own bets (actually, a little ahead). I’m leaving with almost half my per diem still in my pocket, thanks to John Ascuaga. Plus I had $18 on my club card, so breakfast for two of us was free today.

No more fried food. No more cheese. No more iceberg lettuce. No more canned green beans passing as a real vegetable. No more!