9 year old: My birthday.
Me: If your birthday was on Monday, why am I interviewing you on Friday?
9 year old: Because on my birthday we were full–we were busy–and so we didn’t have time and we never got to do it because we had to do other stuff at home so we’re doing it today.
Me: What other stuff did we have to do?
9 year old: I had a birthday party and we had to unpack.
Me: What was your party like?
9 year old: It was a Hawaiian Splash Slumber Party. Meaning it was a Hawaiian party and the splash part was we played in water.
Me: Was it good?
9 year old: Yeah.
Me: How does it feel to be a nine year old?
9 year old: Good. Awesome. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Me: How did you spend your birthday?
9 year old: [In New York] We went to breakfast at the Cookshop and we went to the High Line and we went to Union Square playground. Then we went to the Converse store, and then went to this bakery but we didn’t get anything there [we were checking out the Cronut bakery, but the Cronuts were long gone and nothing else looked interesting to her] and then we got this watermelon water, which was really yummy, and then we went to the Chobani store [for a snack]. And then we went to the Children’s Museum of the Arts [where she drew, collaged, and made a clay birthday pig]. And then after that we went shopping with my aunt and her, um, boyfriend [the Tweedle Twins]. Then we went back to the apartment for presents and cake. And then we went out for dinner to Le Zie and Peter made these online invitations and it was really funny [otherwise known as calendar invites, which are amazing to a 9 year old). And then me and my aunt and my mom went to see Mamma Mia on Broadway. Then we went to Toys R Us but they were closing because it was almost 11 o'clock so we went back to the apartment and went back to sleep.
Me: Why do you keep saying "awnt"? It's pronounced "ant." Are you a Brown or a Medros? Only those fussy Medroses say "awnt."
9 year old: I'm a Brown-Medros.
Me: Was it a good birthday?
9 year old: Yes!
Me: What do you like to do these days?
9 year old: I like dance and I like soccer and I like Girl Scouts and I like to play the bass and I like Hebrew school and I do Smart Start [a before-school PE program] and I’m going to do Fit Girls [a running program for 4th and 5th grade girls]. I also like hanging out with family and friends.
Me: How did you end up so different from your brother?
9 year old: I don’t know because he’s just like, “Hmm, I just want to play on the computer,” and once the computer was invented, he was like “Adios, everybody,” and I was never like “Adios, everybody.” Differences are okay.
Me: What are your favorite books?
Me: What are you listening to?
9 year old: Mamma Mia soundtrack. ABBA, actually. Selena Gomez. Who else? Mack Z.
Me: What are your favorite things to watch?
9 year old: Mamma Mia. Liv and Maddie. Kickin’ It. I Didn’t Do It. The 7D, which my brother taught me to like.
Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
9 year old: A writer or a teacher or maybe a scientist that studies plants.
Me: What are you looking forward to in 4th grade?
Me: What are your goals as an 9 year old?
9 year old: Be more awesomer [sic] than ever.
Me: Any grand pronouncements?
9 year old: What’s that mean?
Me: Really? Again? Any grand statements? Any big thoughts? Here, look it up: “a formal declaration of opinion” or “an authoritative announcement.”
9 year old: Don’t eat bunnies! Bunnies aren’t food!
Me: Really? What does that even mean?
9 year old: Some stores have started selling bunny meat!
Me: What stores?
9 year old: I don’t know.
Me: You want to end on that note? What’s the last thing you want to say.
9 year old: Bye?
Ah, my 9 year old. May it be an “awesomer” year for you.